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Old 08-15-2014, 11:11 AM   #916
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memphis and i are keeping our names. it would never occur to us not to.

were a child to enter the picture, much different discussion ...
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Old 08-15-2014, 11:12 AM   #917
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It's one of those things where, and this is unfair, if you have a kid and the parents have different last names, people are going to assume you either had the kid out of wedlock or are divorced.
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Old 08-15-2014, 02:59 PM   #918
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my gay friends have hyphenated, and i've seen two dads keep their names but combined their last names with a "." for their child.

i really don't know what to do.

i know it's silly and patriarchal, but i guess there is something nice about everyone having the same last name.

though it seems to me that it might as well be the mother's last name that is passed down and not the father's, since she did do the birthing and all and at this point women earn about as much bread as their husbands.
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Old 08-15-2014, 03:15 PM   #919
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i really don't know what to do.

i know it's silly and patriarchal, but i guess there is something nice about everyone having the same last name.
How would you go about deciding whose name gets designated for the child? Seems like a very difficult conversation.
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Old 08-15-2014, 03:21 PM   #920
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whoever's name sounds the coolest, obvi
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Old 08-15-2014, 03:29 PM   #921
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I think I would probably choose for hyphenating both names, kinda seems a bit special, like your names are in unity as well.
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Old 08-15-2014, 03:58 PM   #922
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Is Feminism Still Relevant?

DH and I have different last names. Our children have both last names. Not ideal, but the best solution for us.
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Old 08-15-2014, 07:27 PM   #923
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How would you go about deciding whose name gets designated for the child? Seems like a very difficult conversation.


I have no idea.

In all honesty, Memphis has a last name that "goes" better with a lot of first names I like, so it might be as arbitrary as that? Or maybe s/he has three full names like lots of married women do?

Once you remove the trappings of "traditional" marriage -- women as baby-makin' property -- a lot of things we take for granted seem really silly.


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Old 08-16-2014, 09:25 PM   #924
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Then I guess it goes down to tradition... I'm from Latin america and we have two last names always, when you get married you don't change names, when you have kids they get one last name from each parent.

Although that way we have long names... I was so mad when I was a kid learning how to write my name
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Old 08-18-2014, 03:28 AM   #925
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-- women as baby-makin' property --


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Context?
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Old 08-19-2014, 05:43 PM   #926
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Context?


"Giving away" the bride. Transferring her from one man (he father) to another (her husband).

As just one example.


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Old 08-19-2014, 06:39 PM   #927
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"Giving away" the bride. Transferring her from one man (he father) to another (her husband).

As just one example.


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Would you consider that more symbolic and ceremonial (leaving home and starting her own family) vs the assertion that straight men actually think that women are nothing more than baby-making factories?

History is filled with goofy rites of passage. Given enough time, if they haven't already, LGBT people will develop their own.
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Old 08-19-2014, 06:46 PM   #928
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Would you consider that more symbolic and ceremonial (leaving home and starting her own family) vs the assertion that straight men actually think that women are nothing more than baby-making factories?

History is filled with goofy rites of passage. Given enough time, if they haven't already, LGBT people will develop their own.


Why isn't the groom given away by his family? And most women have long since left home and had apartments, houses, and careers before they get married.

Of course it's symbolic, I hardly think modern peole think in such terms, but it comes from somewhere and I think it's kind of ridiculous.




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Old 08-19-2014, 07:23 PM   #929
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Of course it's symbolic, I hardly think modern peole think in such terms, but it comes from somewhere and I think it's kind of ridiculous.



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Perhaps.

Of course - today - in America - it is usually seen a tender moment between a father and his daughter, with the father often crying.
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Old 08-19-2014, 07:28 PM   #930
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Perhaps.

Of course - today - in America - it is usually seen a tender moment between a father and his daughter, with the father often crying.


Oh I know. I'm sure the sentiment is real.

But think about where that all came from. And many women, particularly women in their 30s and 40s don't do this. Nor do most gay couples they walk down the aisle, hand in hand, together.


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