Cougars vs sugar daddies

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What really happens aboard a 'cougar cruise'? - USATODAY.com

One of the comments. The house cleaner/ laundry sounds like the best part :love:

I am a cougar, 43, and proud of it. I date a younger man and I spoil him rotten. In return I get great sex, a house cleaner, a chef, personal chauffeur and a man who dotes on my every word ( he even does my laundry, folds it and puts it away).. Oh, and he works 10 hours shifts too! I am successful and run my own company. In the last three years that we have been together I have taken him on four two week cruises and on many luxurious vacations. I am a woman who knows what she wants and who normally gets it. I give a lot of credit to my lover because it is obvious by reading here that so many men are intimidated by a sexually aware woman who has money. What a shame. You have no idea what you are missing!
 
I am a cougar, 43, and proud of it. I date a younger man and I spoil him rotten. In return I get great sex, a house cleaner, a chef, personal chauffeur and a man who dotes on my every word ( he even does my laundry, folds it and puts it away)..


Once I told a friend that I wanted a house husband and she said "You don't want a house husband, you want a man servant. A mervant!"
 
:lol: I love that

He can wear a hot guy version of a French maid outfit too :D

I don't have money so forget it, I'm out :(

The captain of the US soccer team would make a great mervant-he can just wear his soccer uni

carlos-bocanegra-arms.jpg
 
Rage Against the Dominatrix

The End of Men - Magazine - The Atlantic

This article is long but so worth reading as it really brings home the struggle of men to adapt to changing gender roles and the resulting effect on families and society.

A number of things jumped out at me, and there is a section dedicated to the mainstreaming of cougars (even in Japan), but rather than quote tons of paragraphs here, this is the one that is not fully explored in the article, but definitely worth more consideration.

But Edin thinks the most compelling theory is that marriage has disappeared because women are setting the terms—and setting them too high for the men around them to reach.
 
The End of Men - Magazine - The Atlantic

This article is long but so worth reading as it really brings home the struggle of men to adapt to changing gender roles and the resulting effect on families and society.

A number of things jumped out at me, and there is a section dedicated to the mainstreaming of cougars (even in Japan), but rather than quote tons of paragraphs here, this is the one that is not fully explored in the article, but definitely worth more consideration.

But Edin thinks the most compelling theory is that marriage has disappeared because women are setting the terms—and setting them too high for the men around them to reach.

One could also flip that on its head -- I wonder if, with the mainstreaming of pornography, men have a similar "standards problem".

The gap between fantasy and reality seems to get wider, and I wonder if part of it is the struggle to remember that relationships are composed of real people, with real issues and real needs. And isn't the ability to relate to one another what makes relationships work?
 
Bingo, nathan. Can't argue with you on that. The problem seems to be that both sexes think they can "change" each other into the types of people they think they should be, and that never works. Not unless the person wants to change themselves.

Very interesting article there. This sounded familiar:

Meanwhile, modern women shunned farm life, lured away by jobs and adventure in the city. They occasionally returned for the traditional balls, but the men who awaited them had lost their prestige and become unmarriageable

Sounds an awful lot like what happens here nowadays, where it seems girls won't even look at a guy unless they have a steady job (not to say farming isn't a good form of work, but it can be a little more uncertain) and nice car and that sort of thing. It seems to be the fear that men will become too needy towards the women, women don't want to feel like, "So should I have kids, I'll have to parent them and you, too?"

Should I get married, I don't ever want to feel like I'm dependent on my husband or have him feel like he's dependent on me. I want both of us to be making a decent living so we can both have the necessities and luxuries that life provides. I don't care who's making more than whom, and I hope that my husband wouldn't care about that, either. I just want us both to be making enough so we're not worrying about where our next meal's coming from, or whether or not we can pay the rent, or what we're able to get for any children we may have.

The thing that I found rather disturbing in that video was the talk about parents being able to choose the kinds of children they want. I've never understood that. Shouldn't the most important thing you ask for in your child be that they're born healthy? Boy or girl, I'm not picky. If I ever have kids, all I ask is that they are happy and healthy and go on to lead fulfilling lives, and that they treat everyone around them with decency and respect.

The article's discussion of the changing of the guard in terms of running things reminded me of a really funny bit from yesterday's "The Daily Show"-I'll have to go find the link and share it here later.

Angela
 
What really happens aboard a 'cougar cruise'? - USATODAY.com

One of the comments. The house cleaner/ laundry sounds like the best part :love:

I am a cougar, 43, and proud of it. I date a younger man and I spoil him rotten. In return I get great sex, a house cleaner, a chef, personal chauffeur and a man who dotes on my every word ( he even does my laundry, folds it and puts it away).. Oh, and he works 10 hours shifts too! I am successful and run my own company. In the last three years that we have been together I have taken him on four two week cruises and on many luxurious vacations. I am a woman who knows what she wants and who normally gets it. I give a lot of credit to my lover because it is obvious by reading here that so many men are intimidated by a sexually aware woman who has money. What a shame. You have no idea what you are missing!

Sounds like you're applauding a relationship based on exploitation.
 
^ Not, of course, the circumstances of the relationship itself, but the working 10 hour days also, is what I mean.
 
Knowing Mrs. S , I'm pretty sure she isn't applauding any exploitation. Just because Mrs. S posts something, doesn't mean she's giving it the "Mrs Springsteen Seal of Approval". Just a topic for discussion.

I'm always delighted when somebody posts a thread where I don't know exactly what everybody's response is likely to be, something that the ideologue handbook for either side doesn't have covered. Even if you can guess how somebody's going to respond, it has a more personal feel and there are always surprises or perspectives or stories or analyses I haven't seen before ad infinitum.

Anyway, it's the running joke that what every tired woman needs is a housewife.

('Course the exploitation of which you speak sounds pretty much the life of the working wife.)

I have a distaste for unequal boy-toy or girl-toy relationships. So I'm not liking the tone of some of these cougar websites. But I also don't like the more frequent than I like generalization that any woman involved with a younger man is by definition a cougar. And that is probably the double standard many of the women here object to.
It's such a predatory word.

Men have always defined their own sexuality. I think too that many of them have also tried to define women's sexuality or , if not to define it, to set the parameters for it. I think it makes some men uncomfortable that they too might be perceived to have a shelf life for their desirability. God knows, it has made women uncomfortable for all time.

I find men of all ages interesting, but I'm probably most attracted to men close to my own age (a few years older, a few years younger). Young men do flirt well, though and it's flattering.

Have any other women noticed that younger men seem to flirt better than the older, even unmarried ones? Maybe men think younger women flirt better too? Flirting is its own art form.
 
I date a younger woman and I spoil her rotten. In return I get great sex, a house cleaner, a chef, personal chauffeur and a woman who dotes on my every word (she even does my laundry, folds it and puts it away).. Oh, and she works 10 hours shifts too! I am successful and run my own company. In the last three years that we have been together I have taken her on four two week cruises and on many luxurious vacations. I am a man who knows what he wants and who normally gets it. I give a lot of credit to my lover because it is obvious by reading here that so many women are intimidated by a sexually aware man who has money. What a shame. You have no idea what you are missing!


...Hey look, it's a character from "Mad Men".
 
I date a younger woman and I spoil her rotten. In return I get great sex, a house cleaner, a chef, personal chauffeur and a woman who dotes on my every word (she even does my laundry, folds it and puts it away).. Oh, and she works 10 hours shifts too! I am successful and run my own company. In the last three years that we have been together I have taken her on four two week cruises and on many luxurious vacations. I am a man who knows what he wants and who normally gets it. I give a lot of credit to my lover because it is obvious by reading here that so many women are intimidated by a sexually aware man who has money. What a shame. You have no idea what you are missing!


...Hey look, it's a character from "Mad Men".

Yes, that's what I mean. Reverse the genders and it absolutely sounds like exploitation.
 
now they say Halle Berry is 'Cougar of the week', because she's photographed out looking good, and she is single.

LMAO!




in my eyes, already, relationships look to be something out of a Rules Book.
he must and she must.
all this dealbreaker stuff, as Cori said.
 
And this is why I never bother with those "Rules of Dating" types of books. It's all a bunch of stuff that's either common sense things you should already know, or it's all this "one-size-fits-all" sort of thing: do x, y, and z and you'll nab your man (or woman). Everybody's different. Everybody goes about the dating game differently. Everybody should just do what they personally feel comfortable with (for instance, I'm not going to dress in provocative clothing in an attempt to snag a guy, 'cause, first off, I don't personally feel comfortable dressing that way and don't think I can carry off that look, and second, I don't think I should have to do that to attract a guy. But if someone else wants to go that route and it works for them, that's entirely their choice). There's nothing wrong with getting a bit of advice and some tips (if someone's very shy, they can get advice on how to be a little less so so they can at least say "Hello" to a guy), but it just seems we overanalyze too much. Relationships aren't easy, no, but they shouldn't be that freakin' hard and complicated.

I find men of all ages interesting, but I'm probably most attracted to men close to my own age (a few years older, a few years younger). Young men do flirt well, though and it's flattering.

Have any other women noticed that younger men seem to flirt better than the older, even unmarried ones? Maybe men think younger women flirt better too? Flirting is its own art form.

From what I've observed, I'd say it's the reverse. Younger guys seem to come off a bit more clumsy and awkward in their flirting, older guys (perhaps because of years of practice) seem a little smoother at it, a little more natural. I've been told that, despite my shyness, I'm painfully obvious in my flirtation attempts :reject:. Which is funny, 'cause I like it when guys are a lot more subtle in their flirtations and comments toward a girl. I like hinting and insinuating instead of just coming straight out and saying something crude or blunt.

I have a tendency to go for older guys. Celebrity crushes of mine are usually a good deal of years older than me, and as for guys I actually know, they're generally about a year older than I am. Not to say I'll never show interest in a younger guy, though-age really isn't an issue (just have to be of legal age, of course :p), I just want a good, decent guy.

I liked the rest of your post, too. Very well put :up:. And I agree about the discussion, too, it's nice to see a little bit of a change in the viewpoints and debate.

Also, excellent article there, financeguy. I have to say, I'm inclined to agree with it. It does seem, be it in movies or in TV shows, real ("Forensic Files") or fake (the "Special Victims Unit" version of "Law and Order") there's this unsettling erotic element to sexual crimes that always pops up. And she's spot on with the "make women feel unsafe" line-I know after watching a few episodes of the former especially, I definitely start feeling like I want to lock all my doors and windows and look over my shoulder (and it's really not fair to men, either, as it makes women think that most, if not all, men are a danger to them and will hurt them violently or something. And that's not at all true, most men wouldn't dream of treating women so horribly). Certainly these crimes should be brought out into the open so that people know just how horrible they are and the destruction they bring to women who have to suffer through them. Women shouldn't be afraid to talk about these crimes and come forward to get justice for them. But yeah, it does seem that there's this weird, "sexy" attitude toward that stuff. Sex does sell, and there's nothing inherently wrong with that. I'd just like it to be the good kind.

On a happier note, here's that "Daily Show" bit I mentioned the other day. Enjoy :):.

Video: Indecision 2010 - Primary Victory for Women | The Daily Show | Comedy Central

Angela
 
Knowing Mrs. S , I'm pretty sure she isn't applauding any exploitation. Just because Mrs. S posts something, doesn't mean she's giving it the "Mrs Springsteen Seal of Approval". Just a topic for discussion.

Thank you :) But of course I'll spell everything out anyway, cause well I just have to explain and defend every little silly thing I post on here. I'll just refrain from making any kind of joking or silly comments so they don't become fodder for agendas.

I've had to clean and do laundry for myself and my family for my entire life. So does it sound daydreamy to have someone do it for you? Yes.. But I most definitely don't believe in unequal relationships and/or exploitation. I would want a guy to do my laundry because he wants to do things for me, just because and not in return or exchange for anything.

And you are right, it does sound like the life of many working women if their husbands don't "help" enough. That always makes me laugh.."help".
 
Men have always defined their own sexuality. I think too that many of them have also tried to define women's sexuality or , if not to define it, to set the parameters for it. I think it makes some men uncomfortable that they too might be perceived to have a shelf life for their desirability. God knows, it has made women uncomfortable for all time.

I think you nailed it
 
I assume they're just friends

That Justin Bieber is a little strange anyway. He's always talking about older women that he thinks are hot. Of course pretty much every female is older than he is.
 
Karda is gorgeous.

but again, this whole cougar/suga pop - is so fukin blown out of media's ass proportion.

its like this whole stupid '1st base' to 'homerun' I hear.


what the fuk.

it all kinda sounds rather, silly.....to me..........:crack:
 
From what I've observed, I'd say it's the reverse. Younger guys seem to come off a bit more clumsy and awkward in their flirting, older guys (perhaps because of years of practice) seem a little smoother at it, a little more natural.

I've been told that, despite my shyness, I'm painfully obvious in my flirtation attempts :reject:

Would you be willing to share an example of your painfully obvious flirting techniques? :hyper:

I find the younger guys generally more bold and aggressive (not necessarily blunt or crude) but will back off respectfully and humourously if I flash my wedding ring. The older ones are more subtle but not necessarily more smooth and tend to disregard the wedding ring, or act like I should disregard it, which leaves me feeling creeped out.

Also, excellent article there, financeguy. I have to say, I'm inclined to agree with it.

Same here. When shame doesn't work, throw in some fear to keep us in our place. :tongue:
 
Would you be willing to share an example of your painfully obvious flirting techniques? :hyper:

LOL, um, well, nothing overtly humiliating, but I have this tendency to start hovering around wherever a guy I like is hanging out. For example, when I was in high school, I had this crush on a guy, and he was in the school band (I think he played the tuba :p). They were playing at some town event downtown for some Christmas preparation stuff going on, and my sister knew I liked him, and she proceeded to drag me by him what seemed like every five minutes. I mean, I guess I could've, you know, pulled away and gone off somewhere else or something, but...yeah (we became good friends, but nothing further, by the way). So I perhaps come off slightly...stalkerish, I guess I'd have to say, even though that's not at all my intention.

And then of course I find myself staring at them a lot, laughing at practically every single thing they say or do. I know these are common flirting techniques and there's nothing wrong with them, I just may kinda do them to a bit of excess and I'm just not very subtle. When I like somebody, everyone around me knows it without me having to actually say so.

I find the younger guys generally more bold and aggressive (not necessarily blunt or crude) but will back off respectfully and humourously if I flash my wedding ring. The older ones are more subtle but not necessarily more smooth and tend to disregard the wedding ring, or act like I should disregard it, which leaves me feeling creeped out.

Ooh, yeah, don't blame you there, that is a bit...eesh. That certainly makes sense, though, that sort of situation-different age groups' reactions to commitment stuff like rings. Still, though, no matter the age, once they see the ring, definitely back off.

But that's interesting that for you it's the reverse. Guess it depends on the area you live in. I know when I lived out west, the guys out there tended to have more of a stereotypical "macho" attitude about dating and women, and that sort of thing can factor into how guys flirt, too.

I remember my mom told me a story once where she heard a girl complaining about guys yelling out all sorts of hoots and hollers at her, how offensive and degrading she found it and stuff. Her response to that girl: "Hey, once you hit a certain age, you may find that stuff rather flattering" :p.

Same here. When shame doesn't work, throw in some fear to keep us in our place. :tongue:

*Nods* Exactly.

That's the thing I always find odd when we hear about domestic violence and rape cases against women. You hear everyone suddenly start listing tips for women to keep in mind to stay safe, but never tips about guys teaching each other to behave better and treat women with more respect and dignity. Certainly we should know how to keep ourselves safe from legitimate threats, I have no problem with that, and there's some great advice out there that I do take to heart. But it always seems like women have to somehow change their behavior, their routines, their lives. Why not make men do some changing, too?

Angela
 
LOL, um, well, nothing overtly humiliating, but I have this tendency to start hovering around wherever a guy I like is hanging out. For example, when I was in high school, I had this crush on a guy, and he was in the school band (I think he played the tuba :p). They were playing at some town event downtown for some Christmas preparation stuff going on, and my sister knew I liked him, and she proceeded to drag me by him what seemed like every five minutes. I mean, I guess I could've, you know, pulled away and gone off somewhere else or something, but...yeah (we became good friends, but nothing further, by the way). So I perhaps come off slightly...stalkerish, I guess I'd have to say, even though that's not at all my intention.

And then of course I find myself staring at them a lot, laughing at practically every single thing they say or do. I know these are common flirting techniques and there's nothing wrong with them, I just may kinda do them to a bit of excess and I'm just not very subtle. When I like somebody, everyone around me knows it without me having to actually say so.


that's all very interesting

you could just knock back a few beers
and then pull your sweater up over your head.
 
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