College freshman commits suicide after sex tape posted on internet by roommate - Page 16 - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Free Your Mind
Click Here to Login
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 10-29-2010, 04:43 PM   #226
Blue Crack Addict
 
deep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: A far distance down.
Posts: 28,501
Local Time: 11:20 AM
If you open the link,

he did own up, and offer a sincere apology.

this thinking does not happen in a vacuum, I am sure his beliefs were validated by his upbringing and most likely his 'faith community'.
__________________

__________________
deep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2010, 07:55 PM   #227
Refugee
 
A stor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: U.S.A. East Coast
Posts: 2,464
Local Time: 07:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by martha View Post


Sometimes they said it to their faces in Arkansas.
That is true Martha. Though, I was too young to have witnessed it.
__________________

__________________
A stor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2010, 08:26 PM   #228
She's the One
 
martha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Orange County and all over the goddamn place
Posts: 42,335
Local Time: 11:20 AM
Last year, when we were in Bloomington, we were walking through the halls of the IU Student Union. There was a photography exhibit, and one of the pictures was of two grown women. I don't remember if they were in this photo (above) or not, but one of the women was one of the Little Rock Nine, and the other was a white woman who had been screaming at her way back when. In the modern photo, they had their arms around each other, with huge, happy smiles on their faces.

That picture made me feel good about the future.
__________________
martha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-29-2010, 08:33 PM   #229
Refugee
 
A stor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: U.S.A. East Coast
Posts: 2,464
Local Time: 07:20 PM
Thanks Martha for sharing. It makes me feel good about the future too. Lucky for me, by the time. I attended school. Children of all races were educated together. And I certainly benefited from this.
__________________
A stor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-30-2010, 10:59 AM   #230
Blue Crack Addict
 
Moonlit_Angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: In a dimension known as the Twilight Zone...do de doo doo, do de doo doo...
Posts: 19,266
Local Time: 01:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by martha View Post
Last year, when we were in Bloomington, we were walking through the halls of the IU Student Union. There was a photography exhibit, and one of the pictures was of two grown women. I don't remember if they were in this photo (above) or not, but one of the women was one of the Little Rock Nine, and the other was a white woman who had been screaming at her way back when. In the modern photo, they had their arms around each other, with huge, happy smiles on their faces.

That picture made me feel good about the future.
That's an awesome story .

There are definitely many instances I've seen in recent times that can give one hope. The change may be slow, but as long as it's happening at all, that's reason enough to be optimistic.

Angela
__________________
Moonlit_Angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-31-2010, 10:05 PM   #231
Refugee
 
A stor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: U.S.A. East Coast
Posts: 2,464
Local Time: 07:20 PM
I think so too, Angela. Well said!
__________________
A stor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-31-2010, 11:07 PM   #232
War Child
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 705
Local Time: 03:20 PM
^^
__________________
HBK-79 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2010, 08:24 PM   #233
Self-righteous bullshitter
 
BoMac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Soviet Canuckistan — Socialist paradise
Posts: 16,665
Local Time: 03:20 PM
Hear, hear.

My son is gay � Nerdy Apple Bottom
__________________

BoMac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2010, 08:50 AM   #234
Blue Crack Addict
 
Moonlit_Angel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: In a dimension known as the Twilight Zone...do de doo doo, do de doo doo...
Posts: 19,266
Local Time: 01:20 PM
Excellent piece. Those moms can put it in their pipes and smoke it.

Angela
__________________
Moonlit_Angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2010, 09:46 AM   #235
Acrobat
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 476
Local Time: 03:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BoMac View Post

This absolutely deserves its own thread. There is a lot to talk about in that blog post.
__________________
Knuckle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2010, 08:18 PM   #236
Forum Moderator
 
yolland's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 7,471
Local Time: 08:20 PM
^ It does concern gender-based bullying, which is what most of this thread's been about. I wouldn't mind splitting it off if BoMac wanted to, but I also think it's fine here.

Personally, I disagree with the way this mother handled some aspects of the situation, particularly the fact that she (in her own words) 'blew off' her son's expressed concern that other people might ridicule his costume, and insisted he stick with it. That could have been an opportunity to have an honest discussion with the child about, While I think this is a fun and interesting costume, yes, some children and some adults might be uncomfortable with a boy dressing like a girl, they may show that by acting mean, and here are some good ways you can respond to them if they do--are you OK with all that? You can let the child make his own decision, and support him in it, without giving him falsely rosy expectations of other people's possible responses. In fact, depending to a considerable degree on the personality of the child in question and the social situation he'd be wearing the costume in, I might just go ahead and have that discussion with him the first time he expressed interest in the costume.

"If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it"--that just tells me she's never had the experience of being the kind of girl who wants to be Batman, or had a daughter who is. The responses such a girl may get are different from what a boy may get--condescending and patronizing rather than hostile and aggressive--but they can still be hurtful.
__________________
yolland [at] interference.com


μελετώ αποτυγχάνειν. -- Διογένης της Σινώπης
yolland is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 01:02 AM   #237
Forum Moderator
 
yolland's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 7,471
Local Time: 08:20 PM
It doesn't concern gender or sexual orientation, but, how's this for an innovative antibullying program:

Quote:
New York Times, Oct. 8

...Roots of Empathy was founded in 1996 by Mary Gordon, an educator who had built Canada’s largest network of school-based parenting and family-literacy centers after having worked with neglectful and abusive parents. Gordon had found many of them to be lacking in empathy for their children. They hadn’t developed the skill because they hadn’t experienced or witnessed it sufficiently themselves. She envisioned Roots as a seriously proactive parent education program–one that would begin when the mothers- and fathers-to-be were in kindergarten. Since then, Roots has worked with more than 12,600 classes across Canada, and in recent years, the program has expanded to the Isle of Man, the United Kingdom, New Zealand, and the United States, where it currently operates in Seattle. Researchers have found that the program increases kindness and acceptance of others and decreases negative aggression.

Here’s how it works: Roots arranges monthly class visits by a mother and her baby (who must be between two and four months old at the beginning of the school year). Each month, for nine months, a trained instructor guides a classroom using a standard curriculum that involves three 40-minute visits--a pre-visit, a baby visit, and a post-visit. The program runs from kindergarten to seventh grade. During the baby visits, the children sit around the baby and mother (sometimes it’s a father) on a green blanket (which represents new life and nature) and they try to understand the baby’s feelings. The instructor helps by labeling them. “It’s a launch pad for them to understand their own feelings and the feelings of others,” explains Gordon. “It carries over to the rest of class.”

I have visited several public schools in low-income neighborhoods in Toronto to observe Roots of Empathy’s work. What I find most fascinating is how the baby actually changes the children’s behavior. Teachers have confirmed my impressions: tough kids smile, disruptive kids focus, shy kids open up. In a seventh grade class, I found 12-year-olds unabashedly singing nursery rhymes. The baby seems to act like a heart-softening magnet. No one fully understands why. Kimberly Schonert-Reichl, an applied developmental psychologist who is a professor at the University of British Columbia, has evaluated Roots of Empathy in four studies. “Do kids become more empathic and understanding? Do they become less aggressive and kinder to each other? The answer is yes and yes,” she explained. “The question is why.”

C. Sue Carter, a neurobiologist based at the University of Illinois at Chicago, who has conducted pioneering research into the effects of oxytocin, a hormone that has been linked with caring and trusting behavior, suspects that biology is playing a role in the program’s impact. “This may be an oxytocin story,” Carter told me. “I believe that being around the baby is somehow putting the children in a biologically different place. We don’t know what that place is because we haven’t measured it. However, if it works here as it does in other animals, we would guess that exposure to an infant would create a physiological state in which the children would be more social.”

To parent well, you must try to imagine what your baby is experiencing. So the kids do a lot of “perspective taking.” When the baby is too small to raise its own head, for example, the instructor asks the children to lay their heads on the blanket and look around from there. Perspective taking is the cognitive dimension of empathy--and like any skill it takes practice to master. (Cable news hosts, take note.)

Children learn strategies for comforting a crying baby. They learn that one must never shake a baby. They discover that everyone comes into the world with a different temperament, including themselves and their classmates. They see how hard it can be to be a parent, which helps them empathize with their own mothers and fathers. And they marvel at how capacity develops. Each month, the baby does something that it couldn’t do during its last visit: roll over, crawl, sit up, maybe even begin walking. Witnessing the baby’s triumphs--even something as small as picking up a rattle for the first time--the children will often cheer.

Ervin Staub, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, has studied altruism in children and found that the best way to create a caring climate is to engage children collectively in an activity that benefits another human being. In Roots, children are enlisted in each class to do something to care for the baby, whether it is to sing a song, speak in a gentle voice, or make a “wishing tree.”

The results can be dramatic. In a study of first- to third-grade classrooms, Schonert-Reichl focused on the subset of kids who exhibited “proactive aggression”--the deliberate and cold-blooded aggression of bullies who prey on vulnerable kids. Of those who participated in the Roots program, 88% decreased this form of behavior over the school year, while in the control group, only 9% did, and many actually increased it. Schonert-Reichl has reproduced these findings with fourth to seventh grade children in a randomized controlled trial. She also found that Roots produced significant drops in “relational aggression”--things like gossiping, excluding others, and backstabbing. Research also found a sharp increase in children’s parenting knowledge.

“Empathy can’t be taught, but it can be caught,” Gordon often says--and not just by children. “Programmatically my biggest surprise was that not only did empathy increase in children, but it increased in their teachers,” she added. “And that, to me, was glorious, because teachers hold such sway over children.”

When the program was implemented on a large scale across the province of Manitoba--it’s now in 300 classrooms there--it achieved an “effect size” that Rob Santos, the scientific director of Healthy Child Manitoba, said translates to reducing the proportion of students who get into fights from 15% to 8%, close to a 50% reduction. “For a program that costs only hundreds of dollars per child, the cost-benefit of preventing later problems that cost thousands of dollars per child, is obvious,” said Santos.

Follow up studies have found that outcomes are maintained or enhanced three years after the program ends. “When you’ve got emotion and cognition happening at the same time, that’s deep learning,” explains Gordon. “That’s learning that will last.”
__________________
yolland [at] interference.com


μελετώ αποτυγχάνειν. -- Διογένης της Σινώπης
yolland is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 09:19 AM   #238
Refugee
 
A stor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: U.S.A. East Coast
Posts: 2,464
Local Time: 07:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by yolland View Post
^ It does concern gender-based bullying, which is what most of this thread's been about. I wouldn't mind splitting it off if BoMac wanted to, but I also think it's fine here.

Personally, I disagree with the way this mother handled some aspects of the situation, particularly the fact that she (in her own words) 'blew off' her son's expressed concern that other people might ridicule his costume, and insisted he stick with it. That could have been an opportunity to have an honest discussion with the child about, While I think this is a fun and interesting costume, yes, some children and some adults might be uncomfortable with a boy dressing like a girl, they may show that by acting mean, and here are some good ways you can respond to them if they do--are you OK with all that? You can let the child make his own decision, and support him in it, without giving him falsely rosy expectations of other people's possible responses. In fact, depending to a considerable degree on the personality of the child in question and the social situation he'd be wearing the costume in, I might just go ahead and have that discussion with him the first time he expressed interest in the costume.

"If my daughter had dressed as Batman, no one would have thought twice about it"--that just tells me she's never had the experience of being the kind of girl who wants to be Batman, or had a daughter who is. The responses such a girl may get are different from what a boy may get--condescending and patronizing rather than hostile and aggressive--but they can still be hurtful.
Yolland, I agree with you here. Plus she is talking about a five year old dressing up as a party girl for Halloween. What makes her so sure that her son is gay? Not that there would be anything wrong with this of course. But to say it about a five year old because his best friend is a girl. So what? I played Bat Man at that age and my best friend was a boy. I grew up to be heterosexual. My point about the article. Just love them and let them be children. They have enough crap to deal with, when they grow up.
__________________
A stor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 10:38 AM   #239
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,984
Local Time: 02:20 PM
forbes.com

Dec. 22 2010
By KASHMIR HILL

The parents of Tyler Clementi, who committed suicide earlier this year after his roommate streamed his gay tryst via webcam, plan to sue Rutgers University over their son’s death. They sent notice of the civil suit to the university on Friday, reports the Courier News.

“It appears Rutgers University failed to act, failed to put in place and/or failed to implement, and enforce policies and practices that would have prevented or deterred such acts, and that Rutgers failed to act timely and appropriately,” the notice reads.

It lists the damages as Clementi’s pain and suffering and the parents’ loss of companionship and support and their financial costs. The notice does not list a dollar amount claimed for those damages.


Clementi’s roommate Dharun Ravi and his friend Molly Wei have been charged with criminal invasion of privacy for their roles in surreptitiously filming Clementi. Of course, when filing a civil suit, the family would want to think about who has the deepest pockets, and that’s Rutgers.

When Clementi realized he had been filmed, he turned to a gay message forum for advice. He revealed there that he had informed an R.A. about what happened. As a former Duke R.A., I’ve previously expressed surprise that the resident adviser did not immediately offer Clementi a new room.

I understand from my reporting that the family was disturbed that the university — through the R.A. — did not immediately spring into action when Clementi reported that a crime had been committed against him. The family feels that the university’s failure to act put their son in a position (on the night he committed suicide) in which he would be forced to sleep in a small room with someone that had criminally violated him.

The family now alleges that the university “failed to protect Clementi against ‘unlawful or otherwise improper acts perpetrated against’ the Rutgers freshman,” reports the Courier News. They also filed a breach of contract claim, saying that the university broke its agreement with the Rutgers freshman by failing to protect him. Rutgers has responded to say it is sympathetic to what happened, but not responsible for Clementi’s suicide.

When I previously wrote about this, I spoke with a former New Jersey prosecutor about the likelihood of success for a civil suit against the university. “At the moment, there are not enough facts to know if there was a breach of duty,” said Dennis Kearney, a partner at Day Pitney, unaffiliated with the case or the investigation. “But that’s going to be the $64,000 question.”
__________________
MrsSpringsteen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 10:58 AM   #240
Paper Gods
Forum Administrator
 
KhanadaRhodes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: a vampire in the limousine
Posts: 60,607
Local Time: 01:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsSpringsteen
Rutgers has responded to say it is sympathetic to what happened, but not responsible for Clementi’s suicide.
well sure, to get technical only he was responsible for his suicide. but there's always contributing factors for it, and the fact that they did nothing about this didn't help. at the very least they should've moved him to another building while investigating the incident. it's easy for them to be "sympathetic" now that he's dead and it's made international news.
__________________

__________________
KhanadaRhodes is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:20 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com