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Old 03-08-2012, 05:31 AM   #136
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Your work has everything to do with it. Depending on your behaviour and productivity, that is maybe the only quote that might be a little off side. Me thinks you're being a little bit sensitive
I disagree. Irregardless of the quality of one's performance, above quotes are unacceptable. If you are a superior and you want to tell one of your employees that their work is not according to standard, or the way they work doesn't fit in with how the others work, then you sit down, have a talk, name reasons and examples etc. and give advice or suggestions how the person could improve on those points.

Bullying is just this. Snide remarks every now and then, these small needle pinches that may come at any moment.
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Old 03-08-2012, 07:22 AM   #137
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Irregardless
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Old 03-08-2012, 08:14 AM   #138
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.
I'm wondering how fluent your German would be?

I get being the grammar police, but come on, it's incredible that we have international posters who speak English this well and are able to engage with us without having to shame them for types of errors that a good chunk of native speakers would make.

Just my $0.02....
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Old 03-08-2012, 09:53 AM   #139
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Bullying, IMHO becomes a habit because kids don't know how else to feel important. It will continue into adulthood if it is ignored. They need to find better ways to boost their self esteem and that kind of skill building starts in elementary school.

This is the conventional wisdom, but I read a report somewhere recently (sorry, I can't recall the source ) that found that kids with good self esteem can be just as likely to bully as those with low self esteem. Some bullies, actually feel pretty damn good about themselves.

I think it is sometimes more complicated than mere self-esteem. The human capacity for cruelty, particularly towards the weak, is truly sad. I think perhaps bullying has as much to do with power differentials as anything else. Some people recognize those that are weaker, don't fit in etc and choose to be kind, others see as it as an opportunity to throw their power around for their own amusement.
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Old 03-08-2012, 12:13 PM   #140
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I think it is sometimes more complicated than mere self-esteem. The human capacity for cruelty, particularly towards the weak, is truly sad. I think perhaps bullying has as much to do with power differentials as anything else. Some people recognize those that are weaker, don't fit in etc and choose to be kind, others see as it as an opportunity to throw their power around for their own amusement.
I agree. I think lack of empathy is also a big factor.
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Old 03-08-2012, 12:14 PM   #141
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Bullying is just this. Snide remarks every now and then, these small needle pinches that may come at any moment.
I agree with that too
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Old 03-08-2012, 12:27 PM   #142
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This is the conventional wisdom, but I read a report somewhere recently (sorry, I can't recall the source ) that found that kids with good self esteem can be just as likely to bully as those with low self esteem. Some bullies, actually feel pretty damn good about themselves.

I think it is sometimes more complicated than mere self-esteem. The human capacity for cruelty, particularly towards the weak, is truly sad. I think perhaps bullying has as much to do with power differentials as anything else. Some people recognize those that are weaker, don't fit in etc and choose to be kind, others see as it as an opportunity to throw their power around for their own amusement.
I think it's a combination. There will always be kids who will never feel guilty about hurting other people. Then there are kids who do it for power (maybe not out of low self esteem, but to be more powerful). Taking the power away from them means no longer enabling the behavior.

The way I see it, kids will call each other names like poop face, stupid, etc. They're gonna get into playground brawls and make fun of what other kids like. But when the attacks start to get personal and result in serious emotional harm to the victim, adults need to do something about it.
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Old 03-08-2012, 12:56 PM   #143
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Originally Posted by anitram

I'm wondering how fluent your German would be?

I get being the grammar police, but come on, it's incredible that we have international posters who speak English this well and are able to engage with us without having to shame them for types of errors that a good chunk of native speakers would make.

Just my $0.02....
Irregardless, I just didn't feel like responding to something completely opinion based. But point taken. I don't know everyone's nationalities off hand. That was some jersey shore shit though. And for the record, I like VV because he posts in the photo thread. He probably knows I wasn't being a complete dick
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Old 03-08-2012, 06:14 PM   #144
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I disagree. Irregardless of the quality of one's performance, above quotes are unacceptable. If you are a superior and you want to tell one of your employees that their work is not according to standard, or the way they work doesn't fit in with how the others work, then you sit down, have a talk, name reasons and examples etc. and give advice or suggestions how the person could improve on those points.

Bullying is just this. Snide remarks every now and then, these small needle pinches that may come at any moment.
My boss didn't believe in talking things out. Rather, she believed in verbal discipline.
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Old 03-08-2012, 09:33 PM   #145
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since all i have to go on is what you've posted in here, i say you were bullied. or you were a really bad employee. or possibly somewhere in between the two. it's hard to tell since i don't know what you did for a living or anything. i can understand you not wanting to tell us your private info but on the other hand, you did come in here and ask for advice.

like i said, just going by what's been said, all i can assume is the more likely scenario - not that you were some awful employee, but also not that your boss was a bully, but somewhere in between. that your working style didn't mesh with hers (which has happened to me too, i've had bosses want to micromanage me which is annoying) and she had a knack of saying things before she thought them through. whether she tried to make it work and was nicer (or whether you did, of course) earlier on i have no idea, maybe at the end she just got tired and frustrated. maybe she wasn't even frustrated at you, but her boss was hassling her over budget crap and she was afraid her department might get drastically cut, or cut completely. it doesn't excuse what she said, but depending on the context and everything, it might just be a frustrated boss, or it might be bullying. i don't know.
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Old 03-09-2012, 07:17 AM   #146
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If one is in a customer service role, and/or one is an insufferable prick, then questioning of one's personality is certainly something a boss can do.

As what was said earlier... I can see all of those things that were said as being bullying, and I can see all of those things as a valid job evaluation.

If you suck at your job, and the boss tells you you suck at your job? That's not bullying. That's life. If the boss tells you you're a little dicked, incompetent asshole for no apparent reason... that's bullying.

If you were harassed and then terminated without cause, most people would have a very strong wrongful termination suit.
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Old 03-09-2012, 02:09 PM   #147
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Irregardless, I just didn't feel like responding to something completely opinion based. But point taken. I don't know everyone's nationalities off hand. That was some jersey shore shit though. And for the record, I like VV because he posts in the photo thread. He probably knows I wasn't being a complete dick
As compared to your well-researched, facts-based posts about bullying and harassment.

Guess we keep it at posting pictures then.

Thanks anitram. I genuinely thought the word existed.
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Old 03-09-2012, 02:23 PM   #148
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As compared to your well-researched, facts-based posts about bullying and harassment.
Did I say somewhere that I was giving researched, fact based arguments? How does one go about researching their own opinion on something like this? You clearly didn't understand my point. I have an opinion and you have a differing opinion. I think some people are being over sensitive and thin skinned, you don't. There is nothing further to discuss

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Guess we keep it at posting pictures then.
If you're going to misread everything I post and get all upset, then ya, that's cool
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Old 03-09-2012, 04:50 PM   #149
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I realize I should've posted more of the back story regarding the relationship between myself and my boss. However, it's a LONG story spanning over 18 months.

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like i said, just going by what's been said, all i can assume is the more likely scenario - not that you were some awful employee, but also not that your boss was a bully, but somewhere in between. that your working style didn't mesh with hers (which has happened to me too, i've had bosses want to micromanage me which is annoying) and she had a knack of saying things before she thought them through. whether she tried to make it work and was nicer (or whether you did, of course) earlier on i have no idea, maybe at the end she just got tired and frustrated. maybe she wasn't even frustrated at you, but her boss was hassling her over budget crap and she was afraid her department might get drastically cut, or cut completely. it doesn't excuse what she said, but depending on the context and everything, it might just be a frustrated boss, or it might be bullying. i don't know.
That's my conclusion. She was a micromanager, and my work habits didn't compliment her vision of the ideal employee.

However, as VV stated, my boss could've had a constructive converstion with me, or simply let me go. Instead, she kept me around for 18 months, and spend the entire time tearing me down.

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If one is in a customer service role, and/or one is an insufferable prick, then questioning of one's personality is certainly something a boss can do.

As what was said earlier... I can see all of those things that were said as being bullying, and I can see all of those things as a valid job evaluation.

If you suck at your job, and the boss tells you you suck at your job? That's not bullying. That's life. If the boss tells you you're a little dicked, incompetent asshole for no apparent reason... that's bullying.

If you were harassed and then terminated without cause, most people would have a very strong wrongful termination suit.
For starters, I wasn't in customer service. I was in chemical engineering. And I have a boatload of references from previous jobs.

Personally, a boss coming out and literally saying "I can't believe I hired you" to your face is the very epitome of childishness and rudeness, especially if your boss is a departmental director.

If my boss was dissatisfied with my performances, then she should've let me go within 3-6 months of my employment, rather than keep me around and continually harbor ill-will towards me. Seriously, she had it in for me the entire time I was with the company.

Even if I tried to sue for wrongful termination, she would've fabricated some type of justification, because she had a bunch of yes men up her butt.
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Old 03-09-2012, 04:58 PM   #150
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sounds like a bummer. sorry.
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