Baby refuseniks

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AliEnvy

AliEnvy

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Jan 9, 2001
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Toronto, Canada
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The final frontier of reproductive freedom.
 
Good question. What do you think?

Please remember to provide backup links, statistical proof and a bibliogrpahy. Thanks.
 
Well two things I've learned in FYM are that true conservatives save, save, save and never live out of their means so if they can't afford the best education they won't have kids, and liberals hate families.

So I'm guessing it's both...
 
My mom knows better than to bug me about when I'm going to get married and give her grandbabies. She knows she might not be getting any from me. :)
 
For me the biggest fear of having kids involves child custody disputes and people getting nasty turning you over to child welfare just to be mean. I want offspring but I don't want those headaches if they come, and you never know.
 
corianderstem said:
My mom knows better than to bug me about when I'm going to get married and give her grandbabies. She knows she might not be getting any from me. :)
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My mom has stooped to working on my little brother and praying that he has illegitimate children!

I would like to adopt kids. Not sure if that will happen for the first one since I honestly don't think we can afford it even with help from Phil's parents, but eventually I want to. I don't have this maternal urge to be pregnant and there's enough babies already.
 
When I was a kid and being particularly difficult my mum used to give me "the look" and say "I hope when you have kids, that they are just like you." :uhoh:

I didn't want to risk it, so no kiddos for me! :lol:
 
:lol: Martha!

Indra - Mr. Blu & I have always joked along those same lines... saying that our not having children was the best way of protecting the world from what would have surely been an unholy terror of our two personalities/genes combined! :laugh:

I've been lucky in the aspect of not getting grilled by family & friends. Kelly & I married were married young (21 yrs old) and didn't even consider children for about 9 yrs or so. Then I got pregnant (which excited & thrilled us) - only to find out about 6 days later that I was miscarrying (which was more devastating that I would have ever expected, considering I didn't feel driven to have children in the 1st place). My parents, in-laws & a few close friends knew what had happened, but no one else. We made a concerted effort for about 1-2 yrs to get pregnant again with no success. Kelly & I finally made the decision that while we'd like to have children, we didn't want to continue the emotional torture we were putting ourselves through & it was time to move on since neither of us felt that being childless made us incomplete. We've never regretted that decision.

The funny thing is, I must have put off a stronger "no babies" vibe than I thought because I can't name 3 people in the 18yrs we've been married who've asked when Kelly & I were going to start having children! ;)
 
The neo-liberal globalist oligarchical system discourages people from having kids, it's purpose is to keep middle class people in penury so they can't afford to have kids.
 
financeguy said:
Er, no not really. I've always been a deranged conspiracy theorist.
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Trying to figure out if this is one of those 'This sentence is true'--> / <--'That sentence is false' moments.

Well, my household would be considered 'lower middle class' by most US sociologists' income criteria, we have three kids, and I can assure you I don't consider myself to live in "penury."
 
It's probably more like a snake on a plane..

But the "selfish" thing isn't fair either. As if having kids automatically makes you selfless. It's "selfish" to choose not to have kids when you know it's something you don't want to do? It's the most important decision you'll ever make, because other people are involved who didn't choose you. And who will be dependent upon you, mostly for love and all that good stuff. If you resent them well what will result?
 
Only one person ever has told me I was selfish for not choosing to have kids. She wasn't my friend, and she couldn't have kids, so she had her own issues. :shrug:

If people have friends who are calling them selfish for choosing not to have kids, those people need new friends.
 
martha said:
If people have friends who are calling them selfish for choosing not to have kids, those people need new friends.
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I agree. But it's probably something that most people are polite enough not to verbalize. And maybe it's more like "what's wrong with them?" especially for women-because women are still supposed to have that intense, innate desire to procreate and to mother and to nurture in that specific way.
 
It's really a non-issue with my circle of family and friends. It's not brought up, and really never has been except for an initial question when first meeting. "Do you have any kids?" "No." Moving on...



I don't get why people have to discuss all this shit to death. Like any of this is anyone else's business.

I'm kind of tired of this new trend to blog and write about stuff and then wonder why crackpots and busybodies get in your face about it. What happened to privacy and discretion?
 
martha said:
Only one person ever has told me I was selfish for not choosing to have kids. She wasn't my friend, and she couldn't have kids, so she had her own issues.
Click to expand...

Not wanting to have children of your own is one thing. Not wanting to bear a child to term so others less fortunate than you could have a child is quite another.

You should be ashamed of yourself, martha.

:tsk:
 
The thing is, I can tell you from experience that the same tiresome busybodies who'll hound you when you don't have kids for being "incomplete" or "selfish" are the same people who'll then turn around once you DO have kids (if you do) and lecture you about how every one of your kids' problems, from Tourette's to hyperactivity to middling grades to their adult relationships no less, are YOUR FAULT because you do this and that wrong, which, of course, WELL I NEVER would if those were MY kids. Whatever--just grit your teeth, suck it up, and charge on ahead with your life. Yes, people ought to be able to choose to either have kids or not have kids without invasive pressure or shows of disdain from others, but to the extent that you're inevitably gonna encounter that anyway, it ain't that big a deal.
 
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