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Old 08-25-2015, 07:44 AM   #46
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Nobody's privacy should be exposed like this...kind of shocked at all the moralism in the thread, cheating is whatever, really.

I do think the motives of the hackers are at least somewhat reasonable. The internet is crowded with these fake dating/hook-up sites that have virtually no women actually on them and prey on lonely and/or unsatisfied men. I have a friend that worked for AdultFriendFinder and admitted that it was basically a scam and there were almost no women actually on there.



As has been said before, it is very possible to condemn this kind of hacking while at the same time, making lemonade from lemons, pointing out the good things that have come from this -- exposing, yet again, the rank hypocrisy of the Christian moral police.

What do you mean by "cheating is whatever, really."
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Old 08-25-2015, 07:58 AM   #47
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You do? And what were there reasonable motives?


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Old 08-25-2015, 07:59 AM   #48
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I honestly have no idea why anyone cares what that guy does. Or why they have to tell the media about how they're settling their marital issues. People keep telling me, "Hey look at this guy, he's such a hypocrite cause he's got a YouTube channel where he talks about family values, but look, he's a cheater" and I'm supposed to be all indignant about this or something? Who fucking cares? If she forgave him, she forgave him. And if he's a hypocrite, he's a hypocrite, but honestly, this is newsworthy?
Its newsworthy cause God forgave him. Not many of us get contacted directly by God. So when you discuss your shortcomings over pizza with the big guy, its news.
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Old 08-25-2015, 09:05 AM   #49
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I know it comes across as cringe-worthy coming from a guy like that, but biblically speaking, that is how asking for forgiveness from God works. You're supposed to ask and believe you're forgiven. If course, you're also supposed to be humble, not act like you and God hang out on the weekends and he's totally cool, bro.
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Old 08-25-2015, 09:13 AM   #50
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I know it comes across as cringe-worthy coming from a guy like that, but biblically speaking, that is how asking for forgiveness from God works. You're supposed to ask and believe you're forgiven. If course, you're also supposed to be humble, not act like you and God hang out on the weekends and he's totally cool, bro.

Yeah, if you have to announce your being absolved you're doing it wrong.


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Old 08-25-2015, 09:33 AM   #51
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I literally wrote that post as I was waking up so, let me rewrite quickly to say reiterate that people who judge and speak from the pulpit of moral superiority are absolutely doing it wrong. This isn't what Christians are supposed to be doing, and I'm so sick of seeing it.
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Old 08-25-2015, 09:52 AM   #52
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Right, but is there anything more to that then just a theory? I'm being told I have to care because he's an internet personality and has therefore put himself out there for scrutiny (by a friend of mine, not by anyone on this board).
I think it's more of a timing thing. I literally had never heard of this guy until last week when the miscarriage thing came out, which is the only reason why I even understand it as a news story now. And then, right on the heels of that, this story breaks. I have to imagine that has a lot to do with it.
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As has been said before, it is very possible to condemn this kind of hacking while at the same time, making lemonade from lemons, pointing out the good things that have come from this -- exposing, yet again, the rank hypocrisy of the Christian moral police.
I'm not going to act like the information doesn't exist as if I'm a juror being asked to disregard a piece of evidence by a judge, but I'm reticent to say anything "good" came from it, for the reasons I already stated.
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Old 08-25-2015, 11:18 AM   #53
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While it may not be as generally frowned upon (although apparently not generally rare) as adultery, pretty much anyone who isn't a cardboard cutout has something to hide. I think anyone cheering on these hackers in this case should think very carefully.
Agreed with all of this. I find it generally fascinating how cheating is considered such an egregious offense on a fairly universal basis. I'm not condoning it, but there are far worse things that can happen within a relationship/marriage than a random affair every so often.

The smartest commentary I have heard on this whole issue of Ashley Madison actually came before the hack, from Amy Schumer. She interviewed the CEO and told him the site was anti-feminist because it catered to a large amount of men who were looking for flings while their significant other was pregnant or taking care of a young child.
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Old 08-25-2015, 11:50 AM   #54
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Old 08-25-2015, 12:16 PM   #55
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i find female projections of why men cheat to be very interesting.
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Old 08-25-2015, 02:32 PM   #56
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i find female projections of why men cheat to be very interesting.
Mine are very simple. Men who cheat are either unhappy in the relationship they're in or just assholes.


Just a simple as that women who cheat are either unhappy in the relationship or just assholes.
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Old 08-25-2015, 02:39 PM   #57
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Mine are very simple. Men who cheat are either unhappy in the relationship they're in or just assholes.


Just a simple as that women who cheat are either unhappy in the relationship or just assholes.


and i'd say it's both more and less complicated.

i do agree that cheating -- where there's deliberate deception under the expectation of monogamy -- is an asshole thing to do to someone.
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Old 08-25-2015, 02:54 PM   #58
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and i'd say it's both more and less complicated.
I'd say it's substantially more complicated than that. Sex is just one aspect of a mature relationship. One can be dissatisfied sexually and quite happy with everything else going on.

While I would agree that the deceptiveness involved with cheating suggests serious underlying problems, it's wildly judgmental to make blanket statements about adulterers being assholes. None of us know what the hell is really going on in any of these relationships that Ashley Madison has supposedly blighted. As a rule I think looking in from the outside and critiquing a relationship is irresponsible.
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Old 08-25-2015, 03:11 PM   #59
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I'd say it's substantially more complicated than that. Sex is just one aspect of a mature relationship. One can be dissatisfied sexually and quite happy with everything else going on.

While I would agree that the deceptiveness involved with cheating suggests serious underlying problems, it's wildly judgmental to make blanket statements about adulterers being assholes. None of us know what the hell is really going on in any of these relationships that Ashley Madison has supposedly blighted. As a rule I think looking in from the outside and critiquing a relationship is irresponsible.



i agree with all of this. though i want to point out that i didn't say that all these people on AM were assholes ... just that cheating on someone who is holding up their end of the monogamy bargain and is expecting you to do the same is a shitty thing to do.

believe me, i've come across uncountable nontraditional relationships, and firmly believe that two adults can figure out what works best for them.
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Old 08-25-2015, 03:27 PM   #60
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I probably should not do a drive by post without reading the last few pages

but again, I have little sympathy for any A M users. I don't consider them victims, they are dishonest people that are having their dishonesty exposed.

Being in the closet about being an adulterer, is not the same thing as being in the closet about one's sexuality

if someone cheated on their spouse and the accomplice told the innocent spouse about the affair, who is the rat-bastard, the cheating spouse or the accomplice for telling. OK, let's say a neighbor tells someone I saw your spouse go into a motel room with someone when he said he was at the gym


who is the rat-bastard?, the cheating spouse, it seems some are saying the person letting the innocent spouse know the truth is terrible, how terrible of them to violate that person's right to commit adultery and not get caught
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