Allergic kids are being tormented by bullies with food

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Although I've observed the bigger problem to be parents who, when presented with situations of their child's bullying behaviour, completely deny any wrongdoing - not MY little Bobby - as if their parenting skills were in question in a personal attack rather than recognizing a teachable moment.

I think you are 100 % correct
 
There aren't even any words. These are f'ing ADULTS, allegedly. When adults are bullies how can we expect kids to learn not to be?



Terminally Ill 7-Year-Old's Family Bullied by Neighbors - ABC News

The family of a 7-year-old Trenton, Mich. girl who is battling a terminal illness has had to take on a very different battle: taunts about the child's condition from their neighbors.

Kathleen Edward is in the late stages of Huntington's disease, a genetic degenerative brain disorder, according to media reports. Her mother, Laura Edward, died of Huntington's last year.

Because of what the Edward family said was a longstanding feud with their neighbors, Jennifer and Scott Petkov, Jennifer Petkov posted images on Facebook of Laura in the arms of the Grim Reaper and Kathleen above a set of crossbones. Neighbors also say the Petkovs built a coffin, put it on their truck and drove past the Edward home, honking the horn.

When asked by a reporter from Detroit television station WJBK why she posted the photos, Jennifer Petkov said it was for "personal satisfaction" and because it upset the child's grandmother.
 
OMG.....what kind of nut jobs would do such a thing? The little girl is dying.

There is a special place in Hell for people like this.
 
I have a hard time using the phrase "killing themselves to stay afloat" when talking about those schools. Sure there may be a few families, but I wouldn't say the norm.

I don't know. Here in L.A. an awful lot of families -- at least the ones I know -- are indeed doing just that. There was an article in the L.A. Times at the start of the recession about how people were living in mansions but literally could not afford food. So I would say that part of the problem is the perceived need to "keep up with the Joneses" rather than pare down a certain lifestyle, which leads to longer working hours, increased stress in the home, and a lack of supervision.

What are we suggesting?

That the problem may be more complicated -- and influenced by a larger number of factors -- than it first appears.
 
My mother had to work to stay afloat, not for luxuries-and that was when many more mothers were home because they didn't have to work. But I still knew exactly what was expected of me and what was morally right and wrong, even though I had a father who was physically there but not much else.

We were latchkey kids before that term was well known and it taught me responsibility and self reliance. My mother was still there for me in all of the important ways. I admire the hell out of how she worked her way up from blue collar to excellent white collar jobs, all without the benefit of college. I admired the hell out of her when she was waitressing and cleaning houses.

If I had ever bullied anyone it wouldn't have been her fault in any way..and certainly not because she was working outside the home.
 
as someone who was bullied unmercifully into middle school.. hello, guy with a girl's name, glasses, tall and gangly... this whole "bullying is the worst thing EVER" thing going on confuses me.

hasn't it always been going on? is it really happening more, or do we just pay more attention to it in today's uber-sensitive 24-hour/7-day a week cable news channel world that we live in?
 
Sure it has always been going on. So has teen suicide.

What has become clearer in recent years is the link between the two and among gay teens in particular.
 
^ Don't disagree with the issue of gay teens (even though I was straight, I was repeatedly called gay at my Catholic boys' high school during freshman year, just because I was into theater), but it's not just gay kids who are being targeted. The problem is bigger than one group -- though gay kids still bear the brunt of it. Part of why organizations like the Trevor Project have come into existence -- http://www.thetrevorproject.org/.
 
If I had ever bullied anyone it wouldn't have been her fault in any way..and certainly not because she was working outside the home.

Your mom sounds like an amazing woman. I think your time is different though from the present one, when more and more parents take the attitude that the school/the nanny/the afterschool program/the sitter should raise my kids. There's no substitute for good parenting, as I think we can all agree.
 
I wasn't suggesting only gays are targeted. After all, this thread is about kids with allergies. Yet another way to bully someone to death.
 
Well... as I said, I was a regular target of bullying throughout elementary and middle school. Then I grew, started working out, got a little self confidence and the shit stopped cold. Hell, I'm even still friends to this day with someone who used to bully me as kids.

I think most people see this issue the wrong way. We should spend less time going after bullies and more time developing self real self confidence in those who are lacking in it and identifying those kids with some serious inner demons and getting them help.
 
Well... as I said, I was a regular target of bullying throughout elementary and middle school. Then I grew, started working out, got a little self confidence and the shit stopped cold. Hell, I'm even still friends to this day with someone who used to bully me as kids.

Same thing with me, to a lesser extent.
 
Indeed, it's unfortunately always been going on and the media loves to make a big spectacle of the whole thing, as has been discussed in the thread about the college student's suicide. It's just that now we seem more comfortable bringing these issues to the forefront. We do need to figure out a way to deal with it, though, to where there isn't overreaction from either side about every single issue. People need to realize their kids aren't perfect angels and will be mean, and they may, even if it's unintentional, be contributing to that mean behavior. But yes, we do also need to help people learn how to handle such situations better, too.

I don't even talk to the kids that picked on me in school nowadays-mainly because I moved so much and lost contact more than anything else. But from what I've heard about them, they were rich brat kids who now are living crappy lives with kids they didn't plan on and crappy relationships and drinking and drugs and that sort of stereotypical thing that you always hear happening to the bullies in school. A few have also unfortunately killed themselves over the years, too. It's pretty sad, actually.

That story about those sorry excuses for human beings, let alone "neighbors" floored me. Good god, people...

OMG.....what kind of nut jobs would do such a thing? The little girl is dying.

There is a special place in Hell for people like this.

This. Every last word of this.

Angela
 
Because of what the Edward family said was a longstanding feud with their neighbors, Jennifer and Scott Petkov, Jennifer Petkov posted images on Facebook of Laura in the arms of the Grim Reaper and Kathleen above a set of crossbones. Neighbors also say the Petkovs built a coffin, put it on their truck and drove past the Edward home, honking the horn.

When asked by a reporter from Detroit television station WJBK why she posted the photos, Jennifer Petkov said it was for "personal satisfaction" and because it upset the child's grandmother.

Um....

“What I did was ignorant and wrong and I would walk right across this street now and apologize, if it weren’t for the PPO (personal protection order issued against her earlier by a court),” said Jennifer Petkov, 33. “I’m not proud of myself because this went from a neighborhood dispute to a huge thing.”

From The Detroit News: Trenton woman apologizes for Facebook taunts | detnews.com | The Detroit News

Oh so THAT'S why she's not proud of herself! Well then...
 
We should spend less time going after bullies and more time developing self real self confidence in those who are lacking in it and identifying those kids with some serious inner demons and getting them help.

Good point about building kids' self confidance although I wouldn't take any focus off bullying behaviour. Often bullies themselves are quite insecure.

Would be curious to know what the feud was about to have that psycho neighbour act so repulsively.
 
I not sure where to post this. Since it effected children too. Here, I guess would be the best place.

You will not believe what happened in my neighborhood today. I am still in shock over it.

I'll try to make it short.

When we were coming home. Several Blocks were completely sealed off by the police. We had to park our car on another street and walk home. We thought maybe there was a car accident or someone had been hit by a car.

We were told there was a bomb threat.

I have never in my life seen anything like it. Appearantly, we found out later on. Someone called an employee at a small family run catering company, down the street from me. And told her, when she starts he car, there is a bomb and it will go off. The police took this threat very seriously. The woman's car was parked with yards of an elementary school. The children were taken out of the school and teachers had to walk them to their parents, who were not allowed within the sealed off area. Same for the children who ride the school buses. The buses were parked on another street.

This is a horrible thing that this sick MF'er timed his threat to less than an hour, before the school was letting out for the day. I hope they catch him and throw away the f-ing key.

The police seem to think it was a jilted lover of the woman's. But, this terrified every adult and child in the area. The school, Kindergarden to fifth grade has several hundred students. I wonder how many little ones will have nightmares tonight because of this.

I have to give the police a lot of credit. Even though there was no bomb. Just a very disturbed person's threat. They took absolutely no chances. K9 and bomb experts were called to the scene. The police scoured the school field to make sure that nothing was there.

This physcopath didn't just bully his ex. He bullied all of those children.
 
Holy crap, that's horrifying. I'm so glad that the threat turned out to be fake and nobody was hurt. Here's hoping they catch the moron who did that and throw them in jail for a very, very long time. Hopefully the parents will know the right thing to do to reassure their children as well-those poor kids.

:hug: to you and everyone else who had to deal with that terror. Salute to the police who handled the problem swiftly and without incident, too.

Angela
 
Thank you Angela.

I hope they find the sick B and toss him in for life. No parole. If someone is capable of doing this? What else will they do? It is very sad to hear children say "mommy there was a bomb threat."
 
Often bullies themselves are quite insecure.

Yes-and they are probably often more lacking in self confidence than the kids they are bullying. All kids have different sensitivities and different strengths and "weaknesses". Bullying now is more relentless and easier than it ever was, because of cyber methods. To be relentlessly tortured by those means could crush the confidence of even the most confident kid. Sure bullying has always existed but it shouldn't be considered any sort of rite of passage and kids need to know how to treat each other. That's why we have some adult bullies who never grow out of it, they never learned that and they refuse to learn it as adults.
 
I think your time is different though from the present one, when more and more parents take the attitude that the school/the nanny/the afterschool program/the sitter should raise my kids. There's no substitute for good parenting, as I think we can all agree.

I just don't think we should paint everyone with such a broad brush, especially right now when so many people have to work more (if they're lucky enough to have a job) in order to just break somewhat even financially. These aren't all people who live beyond their means and think that others should raise their kids. It's necessity, and they are still there for their kids in the critical ways.

I just think it's fantasy idealization to operate under any assumption that parents who are home are automatically present in the necessary ways. The truth is that parents who are working long hours might often be more present. More time does not automatically mean better parenting-especially now when parents (and kids) have so many tech distractions. I just can't stand that blame the working Mom for all kids' woes mentality. Not saying that's what you are doing but I just can't. Fathers can stay home too-of course many are at home now and it's not by choice.
 
Yes-and they are probably often more lacking in self confidence than the kids they are bullying. All kids have different sensitivities and different strengths and "weaknesses". Bullying now is more relentless and easier than it ever was, because of cyber methods. To be relentlessly tortured by those means could crush the confidence of even the most confident kid. Sure bullying has always existed but it shouldn't be considered any sort of rite of passage and kids need to know how to treat each other. That's why we have some adult bullies who never grow out of it, they never learned that and they refuse to learn it as adults.

honestly i think that's a myth. sure, there are plenty of cases where the bullies themselves are the ones who are lacking in confidence, or have issues at home with their parents, etc. etc. etc.

honestly i think we need to differentiate bullying from bigger issues. picking on somebody because of their race, religion, sexual preference is not bullying. that's intolerance and flat out bigotry, either from pure hatred or a lack of intelligence. there is no place in society for any of that, period. and i think we're doing those issues a serious injustice by simply grouping them all together under a broad, simplistic "bullying" umbrella.
 
I think "bullying" is becoming some kind of catch-all these days. On another board someone was ranting about how she's being "bullied" by adults because of her age (low-20s) when judging by her posts and threads, people are just giving her sound advice or rightly telling her to shut up and grow up.

I guess I'm lucky that I very rarely encountered bullying growing up (I was however terrified to leave my yard because of the neighborhood but that's another matter). I was not bullied and nor did I observe it all that often among my classmates. Of the few people I can think of who may have been genuine bullies to other people, I would not describe them as lacking in self confidence. Quite the opposite. They were just assholes with big egos who preyed on kids that were "weird" and did lack self confidence.
 
I just don't think we should paint everyone with such a broad brush, especially right now when so many people have to work more (if they're lucky enough to have a job) in order to just break somewhat even financially.

I think it's a mistake to assume that I'm saying stay at home parents = good, and not stay at home = bad. (I'm a stay at home parent -- I just happen to be fortunate enough to work there.) Like any choice, sometimes it's between the lesser of two evils, rather than the greater of two goods. For a lot of working families, the choice is closely supervise my kids, or work two jobs to keep a roof over their heads. The tragedy is that there are kids who get lost in that shuffle.

I also do think that there are some parents (and I know them personally) who are chasing their own financial dreams at the expense of their families, and are doing their children irrevocable harm.

More time does not automatically mean better parenting

True, but it does help. A friend of mine who's a child psychologist says that children whose parents spend at least fifteen minutes of time with them every day are more well-adjusted and less likely to get into trouble. It's amazing to me how few can even spare that time.
 
I agree. There are plenty of mom's single or married, who work outside the home and raise fantastic kids.

In my neighborhood, working two jobs really is necessary. It isn't an opulent life style. Modest, instead. But, the people here don't make enough with one income to purchase a townhome. Pay utilities and etc. For the most part, they do make sure that who ever is watching their children for an hour or two, until they get home from work. Is a responsible person. Usually a grand parent or trusted neighbor.
 
By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY

Half of U.S. high schoolers say they have bullied or teased someone at least once in the past year, and nearly half say they have been bullied in that time, one of the largest studies ever on bullying finds.

The study, to be released today, surveyed 43,321 teens ages 15 to 18, from 78 public and 22 private schools. It finds 50% said they had "bullied, teased or taunted someone at least once," and 47% had been "bullied, teased or taunted in a way that seriously upset me at least once."

The survey findings are from the Ethics of American Youth Survey by the Josephson Institute of Ethics, a non-profit based in Los Angeles that has surveyed teens on conduct and behavior every two years since 1992. This is the first time it has reported on bullying.

The survey is the largest the group has done and is much larger than others on bullying, says president Michael Josephson.

It also found that in the past 12 months:

•52% of students have hit someone in anger.

•28% (37% of boys, 19% of girls) say it's OK to hit or threaten a person who angers them.

"There's a tremendous amount of anger out there," Josephson says.

The survey also looked at other behaviors:

•60% of students said they had "cheated on a test," and 34% did so twice or more. Students at non-religious private schools cited the lowest percentage (33%) while 56% at religious schools said they cheated.

•27% of students said they "stole something from a store."

For those who study bullying, the data are "absolutely surprising and appalling," says Darcia Narvaez, associate professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame (Ind.), whose work focuses on young people's moral and character development.

Sally Kuykendall, assistant professor of health services at Saint Joseph's University in Philadelphia, has studied bullying for almost a decade. She says kids are getting the message that "if you have a problem, you deal with it through violence. When children are exposed to violence, they're going to think that's the way to handle problems."

Kuykendall says media violence and domestic violence play a role in such attitudes.

Narvaez also points to child-rearing practices. Her research has found that children today often don't get enough "positive touch" in the form of skin-to-skin contact, which she says promotes well-being, a moral sense and more empathy. She says parents are holding their kids less than in the past and instead rely more on strollers and carriers.

"Self-regulation is affected by all these things," she says.

The 2010 study was completed last month, based on responses compiled in the first half of this year. The margin of error is plus or minus 1 percentage point.

Because the questions are identical to those from 2008, Josephson says, none of the questions in 2008 or 2010 directly asked about cyberbullying. He says such questions will be part of the next survey.
 
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