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Old 07-25-2013, 06:29 AM   #1
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Source these funny quotes

I found this great site collecting favorite U2 quotes (which is quite old and which some of you may know something about the creation of) Potentially Snarky but the only problem is, most of them have no source acknowledged. A lot of the best ones look like several of them came from the same interview. Some I remember from Bill Flanagan's book. If you recognize where the others came from, copy and paste it, then add the source.

And even if you don't, enjoy. I laughed a lot.

G: "Is there something between the four of you that people are missing because it is an unbelievable surprise."

*camera shows Adam breaking out in a big smile, then laughing as Bono responds...

B: *deadpan* "We're all gay."

*Adam and Larry are laughing, Edge is smiling.*

G: "I've been reporting that for three months."

B: "You got a problem with that?"

G: "I think it's awesome and good for you. Why do you think we call it U2 does Much?"


"Bono walks out in the parking lot where he is delighted to see his long lost friend, The Edge. "Reg!" he cries in a loud, goofy voice as kids on the corner do triple takes. "Where have you been?" ~U2 at the End of the World


" 'You see, Larry,' Adam says, "You let an outsider taste your food for you. I'm not jealous, but if you need someone to eat off your plate, you should always go to your bass player." "


"[Larry:] "...there's a great book to be written about the early days of U2!" Edge looks at [Bill Flanagan] and says, "Oh, no, there isn't." "


"When U2 plays "Crashed Car" Bono suddenly slinks across the room to the mike stand in hobble-legged Macphisto character. In his street clothes, it looks pretty silly, but I notice that Edge is moving the same way, lurching and weaving, as if to give Bono ecnouragement and make sure he doesn't feel like he's out there alone."


"I thought the president looked at them quite jealously."
--Bono on President Bush's reaction to his blue-tinted sunglasses when they met last week to discuss world poverty.
Salon.com, March 18, 2002


"You think you're so tough/You think you've got the stuff/You're telling me and everyone you're hard enough/You don't have to put up a fight/You don't have to always be right/Let me take some of the punches for you tonight." --from "Sometime You Can't Make it on Your Own" a song he wrote for his father.


"You put on the leather pants and the pants start telling you what to do." ~Bono


"The truth is that you are many people at the same time and you don't have to choose. It's like Edge describes me - as a bunch of nice guys" ~Bono


The interview hadn't even begun..... and suddenly we all noticed something very peculiar: Bono - is - taking - all - his - clothes - off. The white shirt went first, then his black suede boots, his socks, trousers, and briefs (black with white trim, possibly Calvin Klein, probably Marks & Spencer). "That's better," he sighed blissfully. "Now ask me a serious question -- if you dare." Excuse me but why have you taken your clothes off, Bono? "For the same reason," interjected the Edge, answering on Bono's behalf, "that he's the lead singer. Because he's a rampant sex god with a huge ego." "And a small willy," added Adam.


"The Holy Spirit is like a woman. Undependable. Joke! Joke!" ~Bono


"Where's my public? My God, they've deserted me! This is a crisis. We'd better do something. Stir up some publicity or something. 'Bono in under-age sex orgy.' That should do it. I want my public back."-Bono December 1987


I'll do what you want me to do, because I'm a singer and I just want you to love me -Bono, 7/7/2001


Bono: That was a gig near to Edge's bday and I improvised a song with the words "Gonna make it up as we go along/I love you, love you and our love is true - it's a birthday song for Edge."


"... and then i saw adam, and he just looked so cool. and i said, 'i want to be in a rock n' roll band with him.'" -Larry (Achtung Video)


"I'm not sure if Irish people can dance.... except for The Edge, that is, who is our own funky chicken." ~Bono


"Coke does not add to life. It might be a nice fizzy drink, but it does not add to life." ~Bono


BP: What would you like to have that you don't?
Bono: Feet. My legs just seem to end.


BP: When did you last cry and why?
Bono: I suppose I do everything in extremes - laugh a lot, cry a lot, fight a lot, make love a lot, eat too much, drink too much, try too much, cry too much. Pass the onion..


"Now we get all kinds of racist jibes because we wrote a song for Martin Luther King, or pinko jibes because we did the Amnesty International Tour. Wherever you look we're a target for the loony fringe. So the second night, we're on stage and I'm singing 'Pride' thinking, 'If someone is going to do it it will be during this number.' So I crouched down on the stage, shut my eyes and for a moment the thought of death crossed my mind. When I looked up I just saw Adam standing over me, between me and the crowd. It was a good, good moment."


Interviewer: "Do you consider yourself a good dancer, Bono?"
Bono: "I dance much better horizontally than vertically."


"It's a con! It's a con. It's just a way of putting people off from the fact that it's a heavy mother. It's probably our most serious record - and yet it's got the least serious title. And it just fooled everyone. They all thought we were, you know, we'd lightened up. Which is totally untrue. We're miserable bastards." - Bono on Achtung, Baby, March 1992


"We've made a career out of our personality crises, well, certainly I have." ~Bono


"They [U2's parents] weren't always supportive. Like Edges mother, Mrs. Edge we call her, had a little Volkswagen and she was a really cool lady and she would like put all the gear and all the band in the Volkswagen she'd like pick us up at 4am in the morning to take us home and she was out there so that worked. But my old man, when I came home at night, would be waiting at the top of the stairs with a machine gun, several knives, you know it was just target practice." ~Bono


"I'm addicted too... I'm just addicted to being up here on this stage. Adam, Larry Mullen Jr., and Edge. They're my drug. Tonight I'm feeling high." Bono- Tempe, Arizona


"I've had sex. And sex with a woman, too. Also I started smoking - cigars first and then cigarettes - but I've had to stop because I couldn't hit the notes any more. There are full-voice B flats and B naturals which can be real bastards." -Bono, on why his voice is deeper, 2001


"I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~Bono


"Midnight, she is on the street, she can't sleep, she's afraid to dream. Ten years old, my Spanish rose, she's seen things she never should have seen." -New Day


"We have already gone to practice. Please follow us as soon as possible. 23 We really need to rehearse!! Lots of love -Edge" Note from Edge to Larry, 1982.


QG: The whole PopMart thing felt contrived and camp
Bono: Exactly! And camp doesn't suit this band. WE're not camp We'd love to be, but we just can't do it. Even Edge with his fucking gay mustache. It's just not going off. 2001


"A woman needs a man Like a fish needs a bicycle, And I guess I'm always going to need the Edge!" -Bono, Trying to Throw Your Arms Around the World, Stockholm, 1992


Bono : No... (laughs) I'll probably go out AFTER Midnight Mass because actually ...I am a .... vampire. I won't be going to bed early.
Edge: Well, rumour has it that Bono will be naked underneath all his clothes. (laughter)


Edge: I once worked on a farm, I was lowered into a grain hopper. (laughter) That’s absolute gospel. And my job was to shovel grain from the sort of perimeter of this hopper into the centre, where the hole was. So I didn’t last long in that particular job. The working conditions were too bad.


Q: If you guys are going to marry each other, who would you choose?
Edge: We are all married to each other. Bono and adam are married and me and larry.


Q: If the four of you were in a fight, I mean a truly tough brawl, which one of you would kick the other three's asses?
Adam: Bono.
Edge: Bono.
Larry: Bono.
Bono: Me.


Q: Who's got the biggest willy?
Edge: Adam.
Bono: Adam.
Larry: Adam.
Adam: Me.
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Old 07-25-2013, 06:44 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeevey View Post
G: "Is there something between the four of you that people are missing because it is an unbelievable surprise."

*camera shows Adam breaking out in a big smile, then laughing as Bono responds...

B: *deadpan* "We're all gay."

*Adam and Larry are laughing, Edge is smiling.*

G: "I've been reporting that for three months."

B: "You got a problem with that?"

G: "I think it's awesome and good for you. Why do you think we call it U2 does Much?"
U2 elevation era interview on Canadian channel Much Music. I can't recall the name of the host, it was a Greek name and Kafrun loves him very much. George somthingos?

Quote:

BP: What would you like to have that you don't?
Bono: Feet. My legs just seem to end.


BP: When did you last cry and why?
Bono: I suppose I do everything in extremes - laugh a lot, cry a lot, fight a lot, make love a lot, eat too much, drink too much, try too much, cry too much. Pass the onion..
BP = BP Fallon, it's from U2 Faraway, So Close.
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And if U2 EVER did Hawkmoon live....and the version from the Lovetown Tour, my uterus would leave my body and fling itself at Bono - for realz.
Don't worry baby, it's gonna be all right. Uncertainty can be a guiding light...
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Old 07-25-2013, 08:14 AM   #3
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Research!

I love the quotes!

This one I recognize from a magazine called The Face. The name of the article is Saint Bono Defrocked.

Quote:
The interview hadn't even begun..... and suddenly we all noticed something very peculiar: Bono - is - taking - all - his - clothes - off. The white shirt went first, then his black suede boots, his socks, trousers, and briefs (black with white trim, possibly Calvin Klein, probably Marks & Spencer). "That's better," he sighed blissfully. "Now ask me a serious question -- if you dare." Excuse me but why have you taken your clothes off, Bono? "For the same reason," interjected the Edge, answering on Bono's behalf, "that he's the lead singer. Because he's a rampant sex god with a huge ego." "And a small willy," added Adam.
Saint Bono Defrocked

Although the article was published in April of '92, the interview took place sometime in February of '92. It's a good article!
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Old 07-25-2013, 08:24 AM   #4
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Yeah that is described in U2 at the end of the world as well. According to Bono the interviewer was rather nervous, so he undressed to make him feel more comfortable.
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And if U2 EVER did Hawkmoon live....and the version from the Lovetown Tour, my uterus would leave my body and fling itself at Bono - for realz.
Don't worry baby, it's gonna be all right. Uncertainty can be a guiding light...
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Old 07-25-2013, 09:49 AM   #5
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Thanks for the source, Rhi! I remember the story from U2@TEOTW, but I didn't know what magazine. I'm especially hoping that someone comes up with the source for the Irishmen can't dance and Edge's fucking gay mustache comments.

Was the one about Adam eating off Larry's plate also from U2@TEOTW? It was in there with a bunch of others from there but I didn't recall that bit.

Now to see if Faraway So Close is in my local library system...
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Old 07-25-2013, 10:32 AM   #6
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Thanks for the source, Rhi! I'm especially hoping that someone comes up with the source for the Irishmen can't dance and Edge's fucking gay mustache comments.


Now to see if Faraway So Close is in my local library system...
You're welcome! Found mustache one and a few other quotes in this one. It's from GQ October, 2001. It's mainly an interview with Bono but Edge is in there as well.

U2 Achtung | Articles de presse

You will love BP's book! It's a keeper. Lots of great stories and pictures.
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Old 07-25-2013, 11:17 AM   #7
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Yes, BP's book is great! I found it in a bargain bin at the book store years ago for $4.99 and I think it's getting a little bit hard to find now.

The MuchMusic interview was what got me really into U2 and was one of the first times I ever saw them on TV. I had just started getting into their music and they seemed like really nice guys in this interview and I was hooked. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a must watch! Here's Part 1:

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Old 07-25-2013, 11:37 AM   #8
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Now that is some fecking rock journalism. What a great article.
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Old 07-25-2013, 11:45 AM   #9
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Quote:
We are joined briefly, ans slightly surreally, by R&B thongsmith Sisqo. Bono attempts to engage the young buck in conversation, but a meeting of minds is unlikely. Despidte alighting on a small patch of common ground in the form of Destiny's Child, their conversational flight paths look unlikely to converge.
Having heard of the encounter the following day, Edge says, "Bono just wanted to meet Sisqo because he thought he was one of the few singers in the world who is shorter than he is." He strokes his beard and sighs. "And he was wrong by an inch".
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Old 07-25-2013, 11:54 AM   #10
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I'm looking for a torrent of the show he describes at this very moment.

"Bono stomps the boards, decked out like an army surplus dictator, singing his non-ironic rock star nuts off. Edge - no "The", you're among friends - reed-thin and black-capped, vibrates over his guitar with a ferocious delight that borders on demonic possession. Bassist Adam Clayton wears the expression of a man who has just enjoyed an especially splendid bowel movement and is anticipating another shortly; Larry Mullen Jr just sits there, as ever, looking handsome and hitting things. All this, and the house lights haven'ts gone down yet."


Must. See. That.
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Old 07-25-2013, 12:53 PM   #11
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Bassist Adam Clayton wears the expression of a man who has just enjoyed an especially splendid bowel movement and is anticipating another shortly
LMFAO!!!!!!

i know that gig: that's every single goddamned show ever!
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