Sporting review of U2's career

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RaisedByWolves

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Apparently even English Football Pundits (Tom Bryant) think they can run commentary on U2's music career. Hey guys, stick with what you know!

Additionally, what Tom failed to grasp is that Bono was cheering for AS Monaco and not Arsenal. :doh:

The Fiver | A result so utterly predictable it might as well have been the next U2 album | Football | The Guardian


A ROOM AT THE HEARTBREAK HOTEL
When, in 1984, popular Irish beat combo and spy plane tribute act U2 put out their fifth album, The Unforgettable Fire, they were in the market for change. Three studio albums and a live record had preceded it, four pieces of consistent business that were achieved by basically writing the same song over and over again, garnering critical plaudits, but failing to really trouble the big leagues. For The Unforgettable Fire, then, they would arse about with a bunch of well-intentioned but ultimately naive performances, yet largely escape the opprobrium the resulting melange should have engendered by whacking one massive hit – Pride – right at the heart of things that, despite largely being meaningless, error-strewn gibberish, was well received by the fans and tided everyone over until the lads could have another crack with the next album.

When, in 2015, popular north London association football club Arsenal had their fifth attempt at getting into Big Cup quarter-finals, they were in the market for change. Four efforts had preceded it, consistent performances achieved by basically doing the same thing over and over, getting plaudits, but failing to get past Barcelona, Milan, Bayern Munich and Bayern again in the round of Arsenal. This year, then, against Monaco at the same stage of the competition, they decided to arse about for much of the first half of the tie with a bunch of well-intentioned but ultimately naive performances, but have escaped the opprobrium the resulting car-crash deserves by whacking some pride right at the heart of their second-leg performance which, despite being meaningless, often error-strewn gibberish, was well received by the fans and will tide them over, etc and so on.

All of which torturous introduction is essentially a means to draw attention to the fact that Tax Avoidance’s Bono and the boys put in a personal appearance at the Stade Louis II last night, as the latest in a long line of U2 rip-off acts was roundly hoofed out of Big Cup yet again. Mesut Özil did his best impersonation of the front-man too, his costume change with Monaco’s Geoffrey Kondogbia at half-time, however, not going over quite as big as Bono’s frequent metamorphoses into The Fly, Mirror Ball Man or MacPhisto.

It was a 2-0 victory/away goals defeat – to a team, essentially, that play on top of a car park that is often more populated than their stands and who feature the artist formerly known as Dimitar Berbatov up front – that was so utterly predictable that it might as well have been, erm, the next U2 album. “We came here and have nearly done it but that seems to be the case every year,” sighed Aaron Ramsey, as Bono set about sending an undeletable remix of Stuck In A Moment You Can’t Get Out Of to everybody’s iTunes accounts. Meanwhile, as a result of some kind of handshake-based fracas, Monaco coach Leonardo Jardim has accused Arsène Wenger of a lack of respect – an unfair criticism, really, since everyone knows that’s one of Otis Redding’s and not U2’s.

Much like that band though, Arsenal have had their successes in the late 80s and early 90s, but their subsequent hits have been largely overshadowed by a more general petering out from 2004 onwards. After this latest Big Cup collapse, perhaps someone should do the decent thing: maybe it’s time for Wenger to be nudged a little closer to, if not over, The Edge.


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The Guardian's obsession with U2 is a little disturbing. Like the closet misogynist in school who constantly bad-mouths the beautiful prom queen he can never be with.
 
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