Bono's new 'back material.'

[Registered Dude]

Where the Backs Have No Support

If God Will Send a New Back

Luminous Times (Hold on to Crutch)

 

[BluRmGrl]

If God Will Send His Back Surgeon
In Tonn's Country
Moment of (Sciatic) Surrender
All I Want is Demerol





You know we're all going to Hell for this, right???

 

[Gonna Run 2 U]

Man With The Broken Back

 

[Registered Dude]

Royalties Gonna Pay for Your Bashed Back

 

[Purplereign]

If God Will Send His Back Surgeon
In Tonn's Country
Moment of (Sciatic) Surrender
All I Want is Demerol





You know we're all going to Hell for this, right???

but think of all the fun you're gonna have on your way

d



o



w



n




mwahahahahahahahaaha

 

[BluRmGrl]

^ I know -- that's how ol' Beezlebub gets you!!!

 

[Purplereign]

. . . *hold my hand*

 

[BVS]

One thing about it, this board loves it's bad puns...

 

[BluRmGrl]

. . . *hold my hand*

 

[Purplereign]

. . . beezlebub buddies

 

[nielsgov]

(Don't ) Get On His Back


We're all going to hell.

 

[lazarus]

I Threw My Back Out-New Tour Window
The Recliner
PLEBA's Gonna Pray For Your Cracked Back
Prone (In The Name of Doctors' Orders)
When I Look at the Ceiling

And Bono's summer vacation theme song:
Sunning With Pain Pills

 

[Registered Dude]

someone get to the South of France. we need a beach clip of the new single, Every Breaking Back!

 

[domo-kun]

My body is now A begging bowl, and its begging to get back.

 

[corianderstem]

Boy Falls (On His Back) From the Sky

 

[domo-kun]

Spine-erh *cough*-spanish eyes

A race against spine

 

[nielsgov]

Spinal Drug

 

[Purplereign]

. . . this just popped up on my random shuffle . . . and it made me giggle

"Something is about to give
I can feel it coming
I think I know what it is
I'm not afraid to die
I'm not afraid to live
And when I'm flat on my back
I hope to feel like I did"

 

[zoomcat]

Spine OW My Bloody Aching Spine
Until the End of My Backache

 

[LemonMelon]

I'm pretty sure God hates Interference now

Turn the morphine up high, captain!

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
Owwwwwwwwww

 

[BluRmGrl]

OMG - this thread is the 1st thing I've been able to truly laugh at since last Friday! Thank you all for that (and B,too, since the laughter's at his expense!).

 

[bono_man2002]

My Back Needs A New Disc
At First I thought It was just my hips
Never felt a pain like this
Can you feel it to?

I was falling everywhere
Did My back over there
Cancel North America
And Glastonbury Too

Hey Beds For Backs
Get A Bed For Backs, Bono

Locked Up In A Dark Room
Can I have some Ice Cream?
We thought some girls were screaming
But it was just Bono

Here On Interference
The Whole Damn Community
Is Living in the worry
If Songs Of Ascent is real

You Don't Know How Painful
You Don't Know How Painful it is
You Don't Know, You Don't Get It Do You?
You Don't Know...I Can't Feel My Aaaa-aa--rse

Paul McGuinesss Showing Up
Usually means somethings up
Plans For The Future?
We Got Big Revelations

Edge In A Submarine
Adam On A Trampoline
Larry Watching Star Wars DVD's between tour complications

Not Again!
Why Not Now!?
Bossy Boots!

You Don't Know How Painful
You Don't Know How Painful it is
You Don't Get It Do You?
You Don't Know...I Can't Feel My Aaaa-aa--rse

(Larry Watching Star Wars DVD's between Tour Complications)

Watch me me hit the ground
Watch me me hit the ground
Watch me me hit the ground, Ground
Watch me me hit the ground, Ground
Meet me on the ground

Watch me me hit the ground
God, I'm going down
I don't wanna go down now
Meet me on the ground

Watch me me hit the ground
Watch me me hit the ground, Ground
Watch me me hit the ground, Ground
Meet me in the ground

Get In Your Beds
Get In Your Beds
Get In Your Beds
Yeah hey hey

 

[Angel-Of-Harlem]

^ Win

But then I remember where the jokes come from...
Great job, anyway

 

[Katiesheb]

This thread is too fun. I wish I was as witty as you guys. Keep up the great work!

Here are my two attempts:"Spine Comes Tumbling"
"Stuck in a Spine You Can't Get Out Of"

 

[MEAT10AF]

21st May, 9:05
Herniated disk
Chiropractor says if I don’t wanna be paralyzed any longer
Get your arse to surgery pronto

Munich
Having been a rockstar for over 30 years by far my worst fear
Was needing a scooter
If you couldn’t jump and kiss other people’s girlfriends
Wouldn't you feel neutered?

The only way
Was to fix my back

The only way
Was to fix my back

Today I
Went into the hospital
Today I
Had to find the courage

To roll in
To surgery
With shades off
No clothes, just me
And get opened up

The only thing you have
That I need
Is surgery
Surgery

25th of May
I’m finally awake
And coming down from the high
Postponed tour, Postponed tour
Doc says 8 weeks till I’m alright
Dang

And about June 25
Michael Eavis on the line, my back won’t be fine
We’re pulling out of the show though it pains me
And as far as Europe goes we’ll just wait and see

The scream that lies on the other side of quiet
From the pinched nerve in my spine

Roll in
To surgery
With shades off
Got a pain I can’t defeat
Bull’s blood won’t work

The only thing you have
That I need
Is surgery
Surgery

I was born way back
Now I’m 50
So when my back is getting cracked
It’s not that surprising

Roll in
To surgery
Take the fragments out
Save my back now
I found help from a guy named Wolfhart
Hey, his name looks like “Wolf Fart”
He gave me surgery
Surgeryyyy, yeah

 

[65980]

Yesterday I spent asleep
Woke up in a hospital, my clothes in heap
Spent the night trying to straighten my spine
Squeezing complicated bones into a linear line

I have my X-ray here, and a concert Polaroid
of me jumping in front of our cool bass-playing boy
Edge is smiling back at me, Dallas took the photo from under the stage
Can't remember where Larry was, he still looks half his age

I haven't been with Ali, it feels like for years
Thought of her the whole time -- well, her and Guinness beers
This shitty world sometimes breaks a singer's back
The pressure is on it for years, and then it just cracks

Return the neck-brace when I go home

The worst of us are a long, drawn-out invalids
The best of us go free with some powerful meds
You say canceling the shows is really a bummer
I'm here 'cos I don't want to tour this summer

Choose your surgeons carefully 'cos they will align you
Sign their autographs nicely and sexy nurses will mind you
Watching the sun do down, feel like I lost it all
Where are you in the trees of Munich General Hospital?

 

[jonnytakeawalk]

 

[BEVERLY56]

I was going to say "Numb", then saw it back on the first page. Darn it! These are really funny.

 

[waynetravis]

Yesterday I spent asleep
Woke up in a hospital, my clothes in heap
Spent the night trying to straighten my spine
Squeezing complicated bones into a linear line

I have my X-ray here, and a concert Polaroid
of me jumping in front of our cool bass-playing boy
Edge is smiling back at me, Dallas took the photo from under the stage
Can't remember where Larry was, he still looks half his age

I haven't been with Ali, it feels like for years
Thought of her the whole time -- well, her and Guinness beers
This shitty world sometimes breaks a singer's back
The pressure is on it for years, and then it just cracks

Return the neck-brace when I go home

The worst of us are a long, drawn-out invalids
The best of us go free with some powerful meds
You say canceling the shows is really a bummer
I'm here 'cos I don't want to tour this summer

Choose your surgeons carefully 'cos they will align you
Sign their autographs nicely and sexy nurses will mind you
Watching the sun do down, feel like I lost it all
Where are you in the trees of Munich General Hospital?

 

[A stor]

Waynetravis.......I love your avatar!