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Personal Stuff

Posted 07-26-2012 at 08:24 PM by BlueSilkenSky

...that I'm sure no one really cares about, but it's been bothering me and I currently don't have a diary so I have to blog about it here. Why here, you ask, where no one can see it (because of course no one ever reads the blogs on here)? Well, because I do have a blog on Tumblr, but the very friend I'm about to be complaining about follows my blog, so I can't have her reading this.

First things first, though- I miss being in a relationship. It's a very strange thing. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend in January because he'd suddenly become a jerk and was ignoring me. See, we never had any classes together at school, and when we were in the same room he'd always hang out with his friends and not talk to me until I talked to him... which was hard for me to do because I'm a shy introvert and didn't want to disturb his friends. I texted him a lot, but he hardly ever answered his texts, for one part because his phone got taken away... but when he got it back, he still didn't respond to his texts. Then one day, a friend of mine happened to talk to him, and he claimed that he was no longer dating me. Without my knowledge. So I instantly changed my relationship status on Facebook and that was the end of that. It hurt for like, one day, but I got over him really quickly because the way I see it, it was his fault the relationship ended. We don't talk at all now- he cut me off completely, though it wouldn't be bad to go back to being friends.

But now certain things have made me begin to miss being in a relationship. For one thing, my best friend, the one whom I'm about to complain about in a few moments, was friends with my ex, and she's still friends with him. (By the way, my ex started out with a crush on my friend before he moved on to me.) I've seen them talking about making plans to hang out on Facebook, and she always talks about it too, oblivious to the fact that I might not want to hang out with him because it's awkward. So thinking of her hanging out with him makes me feel jealous, or at least envious. Then there's the discovery of a certain song- Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye. Call it cliche, but that song describes my current relationship with my ex to a T. "You didn't have to cut me off, make out like it never happened and that we were nothing... You treat me like a stranger, and it feels so rough." Now, I'm glad that we've both moved on... it's just, I do wish that we were still friends. So that song reminds me of my ex every time I hear it. And then there's my recent discoveries of music, and with it, new celebrity crushes... never mind the fact that most of my crushes are very old right now. Anyway, seeing these people just makes me think, I wish I had someone like that in my life. Someone beautiful, caring, and intelligent who makes music. Unfortunately, none of the boys I know fit the bill. Especially none at my school.

I just want someone else in my life sometimes. It seems weird for a sixteen year old girl to say this, but I really do. I wish I could meet someone that I'd be completely obsessed with, like my celebrity crushes. And I don't know how long I'll have to wait.

Now for part two. Stay tuned.
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