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Stunned would be a good word

Posted 02-17-2010 at 02:42 PM by BAW

When I was a little girl, I used to snoop around in my parent's stuff, knowing that if it was hidden from me, it had to be really interesting or really bad. My dad had an old suitcase full of papers, girly magazines and other boring stuff but under those papers and naked ladies, I found something really neat. It was a small, black photo album filled with black and white candid shots of my mom coming out of the bathroom with her hair in curlers, my uncles playing poker, my dad and his friends looking tough with slicked back hair and bottles of beer, my grandma not wanting her picture taken and of course, his firstborn child, me! Near the back, there were 2 photos of a woman I had never seen before. Very pretty with dark eyes and dark 60's style hair piled up high. I always used to wonder who she was but something told me that she was not a subject to bring up with my mom.

This photo album would come out every now and then, mainly when my dad had been drinking or when my parents were fighting and my dad would pack up to leave us. My mom threw it at him once and made a comment about his "girlfriend" but again, I never asked. It was grown-up business.

When my dad passed away, my stepmom gathered up some of his stuff to give to me and my sister and we were both shocked to see that he had somehow held on to that black photo album through 30 years of hard living and it was now ours to take home. I kept it, meaning to share it with my sister after I scanned the photos but somehow, I never got around to doing either.

Yesterday, I received a message on Facebook from a woman named Debbie, and it started with "you don't know me, but I had a child with your father back in 1970."

Wait...what??? My parents were married from 1966 to 1980, how could he have a child I didn't know about? As I continued reading her message, any doubt I had was totally gone. Everything added up. The dates, her story...it all rang true. She even remembered my name after 40 years. My dad was married to my mom, he left her for Debbie but eventually decided to go back to his family. She was pregnant, only 19, and married someone else to give her son a father. She didn't want to cause any more problems and never spoke to my dad again.

Her son Sean, my brother, is now 39 and recently decided to look for his birth father, my dad, only to discover he passed away in 2002 at age 55. That worried him so Debbie decided to set up a Facebook account and started searching for me. They mainly wanted to find out how he died and get some medical background info but Sean still wasn't aware that my sister and I existed. After our first email exchange, she finally told him the whole story and after being understandably freaked out, he said would eventually like to meet us.

Before I went to bed last night, I sat and looked at her profile picture and suddenly it hit me. There was sometime really familiar about her eyes and her smile. I had to search around a bit, but I found that black photo album and turned to the back pages, my heart pounding a mile a minute. I found the pictures of the pretty dark haired woman, pulled one out of the plastic sleeve, turned it over and there it was, written on the back, "Debbie 67"

Mystery solved.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    dsmith2904's Avatar
    Stunned is definitely a good word. Wow.
    permalink
    Posted 02-17-2010 at 06:55 PM by dsmith2904 dsmith2904 is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Liesje's Avatar
    permalink
    Posted 02-17-2010 at 07:43 PM by Liesje Liesje is offline
  3. Old Comment
    BonosBaby12's Avatar
    Wow That is a lot to take in at one time
    permalink
    Posted 02-17-2010 at 08:12 PM by BonosBaby12 BonosBaby12 is offline
  4. Old Comment
    BAW's Avatar
    Yeah, it's been a really strange 24 hours, lol. We're going to talk next week and try to meet in person hopefully soon. Now comes the big dilemma...do I tell my mom about this?
    permalink
    Posted 02-17-2010 at 08:37 PM by BAW BAW is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Lila64's Avatar
    permalink
    Posted 02-17-2010 at 11:16 PM by Lila64 Lila64 is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Sicy's Avatar
    Holy crap that's crazy!! Did you find your brother on Facebook? Wow .. your mom has no clue? I bet maybe she does. You could casually ask her who the woman in the pic is and see what she says and go from there maybe. Keep me posted!
    permalink
    Posted 02-17-2010 at 11:18 PM by Sicy Sicy is offline
  7. Old Comment
    zuropa_fit's Avatar
    wow indeed. Good luck. When we met my sister (I was 16 and she was 32) it was strange and wonderful and awkward and comfortable all at once. Just know that, whatever happens, it all happens for a reason and no matter what, you have people in your life who love you.
    permalink
    Posted 02-17-2010 at 11:28 PM by zuropa_fit zuropa_fit is offline
  8. Old Comment
    RedRocksU2's Avatar
    Does he wear crocs?
    permalink
    Posted 02-18-2010 at 01:55 AM by RedRocksU2 RedRocksU2 is offline
  9. Old Comment
    BAW's Avatar
    Yes he does, and he said he's going to kick you with one
    permalink
    Posted 02-18-2010 at 02:01 AM by BAW BAW is offline
  10. Old Comment
    mysterious_jen's Avatar
    wow. thats pretty full on . good luck
    permalink
    Posted 02-18-2010 at 04:48 AM by mysterious_jen mysterious_jen is offline
  11. Old Comment
    LarryMullen's POPAngel's Avatar
    Oh wow, Char... That's pretty heavy stuff. Good luck with everything.
    permalink
    Posted 02-18-2010 at 01:11 PM by LarryMullen's POPAngel LarryMullen's POPAngel is offline
  12. Old Comment
    U2Fanatic4ever's Avatar
    wow! is about all I can say! That's so much to digest, wrap your head around etc.. I hope the meeting will be a great one for you... x infinity!
    permalink
    Posted 02-18-2010 at 07:15 PM by U2Fanatic4ever U2Fanatic4ever is offline
  13. Old Comment
    Mrs. Edge's Avatar
    OMG! What is it with everyone and their mystery children and meeting their new brothers for the first time?!?

    What an amazing story! I can't wait to hear all about it!
    permalink
    Posted 02-19-2010 at 04:37 PM by Mrs. Edge Mrs. Edge is offline
  14. Old Comment
    Cleasai's Avatar
    Whoa dude that's crazy

    It would be interesting to meet up with this other family. However I'm not sure you should tell your Mom about them. The mere mention of her name might bring up some bad memories. Also, what if your Mom doesn't know about this kid he had with Debbie? I honestly don't know how you should move forward but my natural instinct is to err on the side of caution. Then again I do come from a long line of black sheep type relatives who are quite adapt at ignoring elephants in rooms. Wow, that was one hell of an analogy LOL.
    permalink
    Posted 02-19-2010 at 04:42 PM by Cleasai Cleasai is offline
  15. Old Comment
    BAW's Avatar
    If this week hasn't been emotional enough, my Grandma passed away last night and we're 2,500 miles away in Toronto.

    I want so badly to be home with my kids but I had to tell one over the phone and I'm waiting for the other one to get off work to tell him. I'm kind of putting my grief on hold until we get back to California.
    permalink
    Posted 02-19-2010 at 04:52 PM by BAW BAW is offline
  16. Old Comment
    arw's Avatar
    so sorry to hear about your grandma.

    what a crazy story.....
    permalink
    Posted 02-19-2010 at 05:28 PM by arw arw is offline
  17. Old Comment
    zoney!'s Avatar
    my condolences, Char.

    Crazy stuff.
    permalink
    Posted 02-19-2010 at 09:41 PM by zoney! zoney! is offline
  18. Old Comment
    cydewaze's Avatar
    Wow, these long lost half brothers must be contagious!
    permalink
    Posted 02-20-2010 at 12:34 AM by cydewaze cydewaze is offline
  19. Old Comment
    beegee's Avatar
    Char, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma.
    permalink
    Posted 02-20-2010 at 10:43 AM by beegee beegee is offline
  20. Old Comment
    RedRocksU2's Avatar

    I am so sorry Char.
    permalink
    Posted 02-20-2010 at 11:08 AM by RedRocksU2 RedRocksU2 is offline
 

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